Thursday, August 26, 2004

the kind of random weird things that bombard me all day...

i should mention here that i really have no life. having chosen to be a stay-home dad has freed up quite a bit of time for the crazy shit going on in my head to run amok.

so here are a few things that have popped into my head in the last 24 hours:

why is it called "post-nasal drip" (meaning "behind the nose" or, in essence, down the throat) when it is coming out my nostrils? wouldn't that be "pre-nasal drip"?

there is a show on pbs (i watch a bit of children's programming, yes, mostly searching for hot chicks who are cleverly disguised as clowns or teachers or whatever while my kids learn their abc's. am i the only person who does this? i'm a sick bastard.) called "dragon tales". the premise is that a brother and a sister have this dragon scale that they use to go to dragonland and play with their dragon friends. where the fuck did they find the scale?! is this the kind of thing that can be found just laying around? how the hell would they know how to use it, and even more intriguing, why would they want to? we're talking fucking dragons here! fire-breathing, hungry mothers who prey on human flesh.

"star wars: attack of the clones" was on hbo yesterday. so i left it on as i cleaned house and did laundry. yes, i am a housebitch (insert whip-cracking sound here). i thought there should have been a scene right after the one where anakin slaughters all the sand people in which padme would be in a dim room, talking on a cell phone, while anakin slept in the background:

padme: "yeah, girl. he fuckin' freaked me out. mmmm-hmmm. he was goin' on and on. how he killed all them sand people. shit yeah, i was scared! no, it's okay, i slipped a rufy in his drink, he'll be out all night. of course i'm still gonna fuck him! he gets me all hot with that moody, dark jedi shit. i just wanna make him wait a little longer. okay, see you at the club then?"

and am i the only one who thinks that the nameless dork who plays ani (skywalker, not difranco) in this episode seems like he took acting lessons from william shatner in this scene? here's one of his lines: "they...are like animals. and i...slaughtered them...like animals." if he would've followed this up with "KAAAAHNN!!" his fate would've been sealed.

there is a commercial for a mattress in which one of the actors portraying someone who really gives a rat's ass about said mattress says, "it was like sleeping on a cloud." and i always think this should be followed up with the line, "oh, well, i mean without the horrible plummet to earth afterwords, of course."

thanks for playing along, if any of you are actually reading this, which i doubt.

3 Comments:

Blogger Mother Hoodlum said...

LMAO...kaaaaaaaaaahn! Glad I'm not the only one who thought this casting was...off, shall we say?
Oh well, better luck on part 3, I suppose...I wonder if their going to have Padme all knocked up and pissy, going through cravings of a fruit only found on Endar or something.

1:00 PM  
Blogger nicoshellee said...

i am so glad my kids are past the dragon tales. i always hated that show. no comment on the star wars thing cos i never watched em. have them but don't have time to watch movies.

7:01 PM  
Blogger nicoshellee said...

hey where are you? i am guess doing the family thing? me drinking too much and will surely be hating tomorrow.

8:49 PM  

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