Friday, April 13, 2007

pot calling the kettle black fishnet

i was with a group of acquaintances, when i overhear this conversation between two goth ladies:

"you know where i can find a good black fishnet shirt? not the small weave, like hot topic carries, but a bigger, more open weave."

"i don't know, i used to do nearly all my clothes shopping at hot topic, but the stuff they carry now is such shit."

"i know, it's gone all emo."

"'oh, let me smear my makeup and cover it up with my bangs!'"

(i choke at this point because goth number one is caked in fucking make-up that appears to have been applied several days ago and slept on since.)

they laugh uproariously, and the other says, "my sister sent me an email: 'emo, the reason we hide the razor blades.' i nearly peed my pants!"

(i choke again. when i dabbled in goth, they used to say the same fucking thing about us.)

so here's the rub, o my beloved non-existant droogs and readers: here sat two heavily made-up, dressed from head to toe in black, pretentious goth chicks making fun of heavily made-up, dressed from head to toe in black, pretentious emo people.

i was on the front lines of the goth movement, i guess you could say. i did it. the make-up, the robert smith hair, the black from head to toe. it was a pain in the ass. it lasted about six fucking months.

and i got sick of the goddamn pretentiousness and fucking posturing all the time. "o, i am so tortured. o, so pained. o, how i long for the release of eternal sleep." fuck off. jesus christ.

i mean i still dig the styles and bands and whatever, though i simply don't have the time or energy or ganas to dress like that anymore, but come on, are you fucking kidding me?!? when i was a goth and met other goths, we said, "hey, i'm darth." "cool. i'm nick." "you like bauhaus?" "yeah. do you like the cure?" "of course."

now, it's all, (in voice of the sepulchre) "i'm vlad." "i'm azreal abyss." (damn, cracked myself up there, using chris kattan's ongoing goth character's name. now those skits captured the pure ridiculousness of what is the whole goth thing now. sorry, i digress. now back to our regularly-scheduled program:) "where did you buy that lacey cravat?" "from 'treasures of the crypt' on 8th." "o, am so tortured and pretentious, and i long for the release of death." "o my, look at those two emo kids over there." "{snicker} i bet they bought their lacey cravats at hot topic." scene fades as vlad and azreal abyss huddle close and laugh uproariously, saying the very same things about the emo kids that i am saying about them.

when i see a young punk, i am just fucking glad that a few kids get it and are still carrying the torch or whatever other fucking highly cliched thing it is i'm sposed to say. it is a natural progression. emo kids look exactly like goths to my untrained eye. it's like one southern baptist telling another southern baptist he is going to hell cause he isn't of the apostolic line or whatever fucking thing.

and goths had their roots in punk, and we all came from the same fucking place. so what is the fucking issue?

and quite suddenly it becomes a bigger thing. this is what humans do. we get all cliquey and hang out with a select few people that we think are exactly like us and make fun of others who ultimately are exactly like us cause ultimately we are all fucking human. and this is what humans do. we get all cliquey and hang out with a select few...etc etc ad nauseum.

forgive me if i just can't figure out why we can't all fucking get along.

darth sardonic



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