Thursday, June 14, 2007

god, i hate being right

lord knows how many times i have told my kids to ask for my help when handling the dvds and games. i keep telling no. 2 not to handle them, that they get scratched and finger-printed and crudded up, and that he might break them.

so why exactly was i surprised when no. 1 said, in his pained voice, "oh daddy, look, he bwoke it." and held up two halves of melody time?

and immediately began the tirade. "if you guys would listen to me, and pay attention, these kinds of things wouldn't happen. i tell you to ask me for help, and what do you do?"

it goes on in that kind of vein for some time, while no. 1 mourns the loss of a movie that i think is shite but is apparently near and dear to his heart (though he hasn't watched it in several months, maybe even years), and no. 2 pretends to listen and care (though it is quite clear he is doing neither).

this is the sort of thing that happens alot around the sardonic household alot. "someone is going to get hurt." waaaah, my head. "you're going to break that." gish, snap, tinkle. "it's not going to work if you put it in the pool." wahwaharble, pop, fizz.

the thing is, it would be easier for all involved if: a.) they would listen and comply, and hence not test daddy's prophetic abilities, and/or b.) daddy was always wrong.

this was followed by me trying to purchase a replacement on ebay, whilst addressing a care package to the wife in far-off places and filling out the necessary customs paperwork, and no. 1 saying "daddy?" "daddy?" "daddy?" "daddy?" and then staring blankly each time i said, "what?" "what?!" "wha-haaat?!?" "what?!!!? for the love of christ!" and no. 2 walking into the room with another dvd that he has pulled out of the case so hard and fast upon bearing the brunt of my lecture, this time with slightly better results, though if the cops need his fingerprints, the media side of buzz lightyear of star command seems a very safe bet.

i've a feeling my kids are never going to learn to listen.

i am, as an aside, also scared to death about teaching them things that i can't remember ever really learning: like, how do you teach a kid to be polite? i mean beyond "thank you" and "please". how do you teach them to be respectful of others? to not be judgemental? to love and respect women? and on, and on, and on.

anyways, i know it has been a bit since i have posted, i have been alternately busy and drained of energy. and another little note, i am not one to leave comments on every post of the blogs i read, but rest assured that i read each and everyone's blogs on a regular basis.

darth sardonic

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Blogger The Queen said...

You ARE always right, Darth (you're a parent) and your kids will never learn to listen. Case in point, my 13-year-old has to be reminded everyday to hang up his house key on the strategically placed key holder lest he lose it (among other things). So far, he's lost/misplaced two probably somewhere in the house. If he does it again, he's moving outside with Batman (our dog).

1:07 PM  
Blogger Queen Vixen said...

Greath blog Darth. Its all so horribly familiar. My kids are older but the jist is the same, "if you drink 3 smirnoffs, 2 beers and a southern comfort and coke you may feel sick" .... "if you spend all day playing your bass you may not get a good grade in physics" ..."if you spend all night 'chatting' with your girlfriend you may find school a little tricky tomorrow". The joy of parenting eh?

2:04 PM  
Blogger lady macleod said...

I love your posts. Now you know how I felt when those chaps in the pentagon would not listen! AND I WAS RIGHT.

2:10 PM  
Blogger Krissie said...

Dunno about Dads, but my Mom, though usually right, has been wrong a couple of times... Just saying. lol
About teaching your kids politeness - just talk to them. You know, when you see something on TV, comment on it and stuff like that.
But then, what the hell I know, I'm a kid myself.

1:56 AM  
Blogger wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Well, guess what? It's the opposite in our house. The kids are always right(particularly the girl child) and I am always wrong. They roll their eyes when I complain that my feet hurt. "We told you to wear sensible shoes." They groan whenever I get drunk and disorderly. "Mum, you're so embarrassing!" I used to always be right before they figured out that I'm not.

5:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My three year old's favorite line these days: I don't think so.
There you have it. I dread the teenage years.


7:35 AM  
Blogger Pixie said...

And of course you listened to your parents Right.

It's part of childhood not to listen except if it's in their interest, sweets, money, new things - then they are all ears.

And it's our job to yell at them.

Apearantly by youngest hooligan who gives me hell is seen as the politest boy in his class. So i gusss the yelling pays off by osmosis

9:27 AM  
Blogger darth sardonic said...

the queen formerly known as chantay: yeah, i would like to be right more often on fun stuff though; always the doomsayer, me.

the other queen: yeah. wish you woulda told me all three of those things the other night, lol. coulda used the advice. not, mind you, that i probably woulda listened any better than your kids.

ty, lady macleod. are you related to the chap what lives forever and lops people's heads off? sorry, weird mood today.

you know what, krissie? you're right, and as luck would have it, i do that already. sometimes being there is more important than anything else. so you're a kid still, you're in a better place to understand maybe.

lol wuastc, i just don't know what to tell ya, except wear sensible shoes and quit embarrassing your kids, lol. but you knew that was coming, right?

me too, bel, me too.

and pixie, you summed it all up. yes, i had selective hearing with my parents. my folks thought i was a heathenistic heretical hellion, whilst all the other adults i ever came in contact with thought i was the nicest kid ever. i hope my kids are the same way (except that they don't think i think they are heathenistic heretical hellions, i hope they'll know i am proud of them.)

a special thank you to all of you, and all the other non-existants. co-misery is no misery, lol.

2:03 PM  
Blogger DJ Kirkby said...

Fantatic! I loved the 'sound' effects.

12:43 AM  
Blogger Snuffleupagus said...

I think it is about habit. Aristotle talks about habit finally becoming part of normal behaviour. If you keep correcting them, it somehow just slots into their brains deep inside. But it can't just be you. It has to come from everywhere. That's why their peer group is so important. Think carefully about where you send them to school!

10:12 AM  

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