Sunday, September 11, 2011

ass burgers

so no. 1 has been diagnosed with aspergers. 95% chance, according to the test he took with his therapist.
this means no. 1 isn't very good with feelings and emotions and things that cannot be touched and seen.
it means no. 1 is very logical, and thinks in terms of black and white, right and wrong, yes and no. he doesn't see all the gray areas of life.
it means he is very egotistical. it is what he wants when he wants it, and he has a very hard time empathizing with you, or understanding why you would be upset when he kicks you off the video games so that he can play again.
it completely explains the conversation that he and i had about grandpa lloyd and his passing and where he would be now that he is gone. no. 1 has issues with death and heaven mainly cause they are the nebulous kinds of illogical and faith-bound concepts he would have trouble with. so it now makes perfect sense that he would so intently ask me when we were talking about heaven, "but is it true?!!?" he needs it to be concrete, a place i can point out on a map, an address we can plug into the gps.
it means that no. 1 will know everything and anything about the things that interest him. the video games he plays, the dates man first walked on the moon, biology and science. during the summer, he would come home from his science camp, and from memory tell me all the ingredients of that day's experiment and how to mix them and why those ingredients mixed in that way created the result i was now holding in my hand.
it means the things that are not important to no. 1 do not matter in his world, at all. he is perfectly ok with waking up and heading off to school with ridiculous sid vicious bedhead and a rumpled, misbuttoned shirt. it means he has a low tolerance for other people's curiosities and opinions. his opinions are right, others' aren't. he already understands why something works the way it does, and he can't be bothered to explain it to you if you don't.
it means that much of my "creative" approaches to parenting and attempting to get him to understand why something might be important have been wasted effort. it would be simpler if i just said, "don't do that cause it is bad and wrong if you do." than all my attempts to link it to others' feelings or vague concepts of the future.
no. 1 and i go to his therapies together whenever possible, him to learn how to consider other people's feelings and to remember personal hygiene, and me to learn how to guide him properly into a productive and fulfilling life.
n in some ways it means that my idea of a productive and fulfilling life might not be his ideas of a productive and fulfilling life, n i need to learn to be ok with that.
thanks for playing along, o my beloved non-existent readers.
darth sardonic

Labels: , ,


Blogger Grit said...

aspergers is a special gift and he will have unique insights. i know one kid who can do pretty much as you describe, but separating out his laundry into clean and dirty? almost impossible. as is seeing why his mum thinks it matters.

5:21 AM  
Blogger darth sardonic said...

lol grit, i agree, and that is quite funny about the laundry and why you should care so much either way

3:35 PM  
Blogger twirl unabashedly said...

one of my most favorite kids ever, and i mean EVER, was a child with aspergers. i totally wanted to squish him... altho it would have totally freaked him out.

we used to do puzzles.

now i miss him. can i borrow yours?

1:14 AM  
Blogger twirl unabashedly said...

oh yeah...

hello again.

1:14 AM  
Blogger darth sardonic said...

lol hello again twirl, and you can borrow mine anytime you'd like. but he's not really a puzzle kinda kid.

3:48 AM  
Blogger Sandrine said...

tell #1 that the coolest character on the "Alphas", Gary, has Asperger.
Take care.


8:22 AM  
Blogger darth sardonic said...

ty sandrine. he is pretty much nonplussed by his diagnosis. he feels like he is just a normal kid, n mostly i tend to agree

4:53 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home