Tuesday, May 16, 2006

full-time employ

funny how seemingly unrelated things in life end up being interconnected. that delivery to the firehouse caused me to not only think about, but actually miss my days at travis afb as a surgery assistant, and just a few days ago, a civilian job came open at mcchord afb's dental clinic.

for awhile now, the idea has been in me and my wife's head that i should seek full-time work during the day and arrange with one of our friends or my mom to watch the boys while i bring home the bacon.

so i have put in my resume. and i should be a shoo-in for the job (or shoe-in, whichever). and i really want it, cause i loved dental assisting, i just didn't like the air force anymore when i got out. so this would be the best of both worlds: my only uniform being whatever i decide to wear to work, facial hair and earrings perfectly acceptable, and getting to do the job i loved at a pace i enjoy. plus the money would go a long way for defraying the cost of tattoos and better musical equipment. hahaha, i crack myself up.

but every silver lining has a dark cloud, o my droogies, and here it is:

i will no longer be a stay-home dad.

and i know that seems like a silly little thing, and i know i have complained a hell of alot about it, in this forum especially, but here's the rub:

for every day that i think my brain is going to explode and i am going to snap, there are at least three where no. 1 wakes up and says to me, "hi, i'm no. 1, how are yoooo?" and smiles the smirk he received via genetic fed-ex from me, and looks at me with those giant brown eyes. where no. 2 laughs uproariously at everything i say, his head cocked back, mouth wide.

those days will still be there, and probably more precious and tempered by an opportunity to be away from them for a few and commune with adults. but i'm going to miss the spontaneous moments when we suddenly all unanimously decide it's a good time to draw, or play in the water, or dad is actually in a mood to wrestle.

anyways, as seems to happen with this blog quite a bit, something i meant to mention sort of in passing has evolved into an epiphany-level moment.

so, if you, o beloved nonexistant reader, are in the mood to be a cheerleader and a positive force, lend me whatever good vibes you've got that i land this job, and still maintain my stay-home dad attitude.

thanks, as always, for sticking with me through it.

darth sardonic


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