Tuesday, December 12, 2006

it's the insignificant details that make the biggest difference

i lead a charmed life.

yesterday, for probably the first time in my entire pizza delivery career, i was excited and relieved to get to work.

because the alternative was the e.r. getting my nose reset at the very least.

a few weeks ago, i tagged a pothole that was something more like a black hole and did some minor damage to my rim, and even axle, and threw the car way out of balance. so we took it to les schwab to get the tires rebalanced and the rim fixed, and while we were there, they told us we oughtta replace the front tires, because they were getting baldy (i was sorta aware of this, as ofttimes during the rain, i would spin my tires a bit in first gear, but had been hoping to hold off a little.)

we shrugged, said, "eh", and put two new tires on the card.

they played a key role in me not getting some qt with my local hmo.

on my way to work last night, i was driving down a major thoroughfare of lakewood, clipping along at 35, about to go through a green light, when some dippy twat decided that he could make the left turn (yield) in front of me and the other fella in the lane next to me so that he could go to the mall and pick up the last ps3 or whatever.

i was a few feet from the intersection when he made his turn, so you can imagine i slammed on my brakes like crazy.

my life did not flash before my eyes.

these thoughts, did, however, dash through my mind:

it's raining

where's the horn on this fucking steering wheel

i hate lakewood

if the airbag breaks my thumbs, i hope when they heal i can still play

why don't they make crash test dummies that tense up, grimace, and extend their arms to full length just before crashing

i hope that laughing brunette lady who is completely unaware of the plight the driver has put her in doesn't splatter brains and blood all over my windshield

thank god we replaced the tires

all in the time it took me to say "oh f" and push my feet against the brakes and my hands against the wheel so hard i had to adjust the seat after i got to work, and had a tight spot in my neck for most of the night.

when i arrived at work, i was still shaking pretty heavily.

getting cut off seemed to become the theme for the night, as well, since it happened in one form or another about three more times.

i figured out what the problem is, though: the topper i put on my car, that i thought says (your favorite pizza joint) actually says, "i have good brakes and new front tires, so please, feel free"

here's to many more, o my beloved non-existant readers.

darth sardonic


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