Sunday, November 05, 2006

slartibartfast built my fjord

file these under good ideas, my droogs and only friends:

plant verdant trees or high hedges at each corner of an intersection. preferably if one direction has stop signs and the other doesn't and would be considered "arterial" traffic.

ask the pizza delivery guy if he has "extra (ie. free) pizzas." we are a philanthropic bunch, and spend our free time creating pizzas and then loading them up by the dozens to hand out to whatever beer-swilling, foul-smelling dipshits we happenchance upon whilst delivering.

clearly mark the letter designation of an apartment building on the side of the unit--then plant a tall, and preferably leafy tree in front.

we were watching the empire strikes back yet again (lord knows just how many times i have seen these movies), and something occured to me: the movie would be a whole lot more interesting if yoda had died at the hands of the clone troopers and mace windu had survived. i know, i know, this is borderline blasphemy (i am also the guy who thinks "christ on a stick" is a great swear word.), but hear me out.

the training with yoda in empire was full of sighs and head shakings. what if it had gone more like this:

luke: i can't, it's too hard.

mace: say "can't" again.

luke: what?

mace: say "can't" again, mothafuckah, i will slice you into so many pieces that no medical droid will ever be able to put you back together again. i'm sick of your honky ass! you don't start paying attention and doing what i say and i will fuck your shit up!

still, it's nice to know that luke is keeping the galaxy safe for towheaded whiners everywhere.

thanks for playing along.

darth sardonic


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