did i remember to keep your beer as full as mine?

i am 36 years old today.

i should point out that i don't feel, look, or, for that matter, act like a 36-year-old. well, that is, if there is even a way that a 36-year-old should look and act.

i'm a bit pensive today, though i think it has little to do with my birthday, it is just something i do every so often.

i am happy. right here, right now. with things just the way they are. that is not to say that i don't have some regrets, and that there aren't things i might like to change about our current situation, but overall i am extremely pleased with my life.

actually, i think it is better than i could've hoped when i was, say, 16. or even 26.

on a different subject, i have some great friends. i have, during this time my wife has been gone, tended to keep strictly to myself. i don't want to be the kind of fella that calls everyone hoping someone will keep him entertained. i don't feel that it is anybody else's job. i don't mind being by myself, and i enjoy my own company, particularly when i am feeling down. no one else should have to put up with me when i am being whiney and mopey. at least that is my attitude.

well, despite all that, i get regular calls from a few of my friends. checking up on me. seeing if i need anything. only just now, one of our friends called and sang me happy birthday, and although she was sick, said she wanted to try and make me dinner this week. she's already planning on coming to my birthday shindig this saturday, but on top of that wants to make me dinner. my buddy s instists he is paying for our regular friday night's food and drinks, even though he, too is coming to the party on saturday. my other friends, a&m, will also be at the party, despite the fact that m is having hernia surgery tomorrow.

this group of people, along with a few others, have made regular contact and made sure i am alright, physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.

the joke about "friends will help you move, good friends will help you move a body"? i think i could easily call s, e, a&m, m&g, and probably my mom, and by christ, they would turn covering up a homicide into a big party, complete with h'ors deouvres and entertainment. not saying that i will kill anyone, but they would help me if i needed it.

i have to say, i am a little overwhelmed suddenly to become aware that finally, after having discarded numerous "friends" over time, i am surrounded by people who care about me easily as much as i care about them, and show it openly.

everyone in the world should be as lucky and as happy as me.

a few notes: yes, a winged unicorn. so that i might fly around, and could stab people who ask too many questions. hahahahaha. mainly, i was coming up with stuff that seemed as unlikely as me getting a weekend to myself.

"off" was my nice way of saying that my sister-in-law is "not right in the head" or "slow" or "not all there."

the father's day bbq wasn't as bad as i thought it was going to be, and it was nice, considering how i have been feeling about my own kids lately, to see them calmly sitting and watching a movie whilst their cousins tore around the house getting into everything they could reach and nearly ending up in the er numerous times. by comparison, my kids are sweet, cherubic angels, and i just needed reminding.

darth sardonic