Monday, August 20, 2007

gi joes are barbies for boys

last night, the kids were battling sleep like wwii heroes played by john wayne and gregory peck. frequent return trips on my part to hurl obscenities and threats were mounting. blood pressures were rising, as well as eyebrows, hell, and caine.

bang, crash!

as i am running down the hall, i am already shouting "oi!"

an aside: being of a punk persuasion, and also loving many things british, i got into the habit of saying, "oi!" we had no. 1 right around the time i saw lock, stock, and two smoking barrels, and i loved how big chris says to little chris, "oi! you talk like that again, and you'll wish you 'adn't!" so i started very young with no. 1, and continued with no. 2. you know how some parents use full names? i shout "oi!" as an example, no. 1 was watching tv. to illustrate to others seated in the same room, i say, "no. 1? no. 1?" nothing. i say, "hey! heya, no. 1!" still as a statue, he. then i belt out "oi!" his head snaps around like it was spring-loaded.

the kids are on top of the dresser and trying to get to the top shelf of the closet.

i go off. i am mid profanity-laden tirade, complete with fiery eyes and pointing finger jabs, when no. 1 says:

"aww, daddy! you spit on my yip."

"...if you don't fuckin--aah hahahahaHAHAHAHAHA HAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! hehehehehe!!!! oooo hoohoohooooo. just lay down and go to sleep. jaysus."

yes, the governor came through with that stay-of-execution, warden.

brooke no longer works at s' and my favorite watering hole. we love that place, but it is possible that we will attempt to find out what place has hired her and start drinking of a friday evening there.

however, last time we were getting faded at the pub, i lean over to s and say, "hey, i'n't that t.z., from school?"

he looks, and replies, "it sure is. she put on weight."

we look each other up and down, and burst out laughing. "who didn't?!?" i say.

"yeah, well, i know."

"we should go talk to her."

"i'm not ready to get up. i am enjoying my rum and coke."

t.z. was always cool to me in high school. we sip our drinks, watch her talking with her friends, s tells me who she was dating in high school, but i can't picture him in my mind at all.

i get up and walk over. i do it so quickly and decisively that s is left sitting with a semistunned look on his face, and his drink in his hand.

"are you t.z.?"

"depends on who's asking."

"darth sardonic."

"oh my god! oh my GOD!"

i love it when i get this reaction.

it is safe to say that i am a late-bloomer. i am no longer much like the scrawny, dorky twerp i was in high school. i don't mind that i only slightly resemble the mopey kid with the smirky smile who wished nearly daily that he would die.

we went on to share family pics from our phones (aint technology grand?), reminisce a bit. she married the kid that i couldn't picture from our senior year and they had a couple children. like me, she is a stay-home parent, and her hubby owns a logging company. she wants to bring a couple of her friends from our class over one friday night so we can all hang out.

i think it would be fun to get that reaction a few more times.

darth sardonic

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Blogger Krissie said...

See, that's the reaction one hope would get. Me, I get: OMG, you haven't changed a bit! Gaaah!

1:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe that goes for the two of you, Darth and Krissie, but I'd like it much better if someone would say I hadn't changed a bit. Now I get big eyes, and open mouths, which are rapidly clapped shut out of politeness. After all, I did gain close to 50 pounds since highschool... sigh.

1:19 AM  
Blogger Sparx said...

I used to get that sort of reaction. Now, it turns out that nobody actually remembers me...!

2:48 PM  

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