Monday, July 30, 2007

it's bout damn time

thank god and sonny jesus, poppa hilton finally wised-up.

it appears that he has (fucking finally) had it with paris, and is donating his ridiculous fortune to a charity. the charity is in the name of his granddad or father (not really sure which, and furthermore, don't really care), so the charity is probably just going right back to keeping the old bastard in big houses and fancy fucking cars, but at least it isn't funding paris' coke habit anymore. matter of fact, i think if you read the charity's by-line, it will probably say, "to help old billionaires whose kids have embarrassed them and the world, by providing the funds to keep said old billionaire in the lifestyle that he has grown accustomed to, without allowing any of that money to fall into the hands of greedy, free-loading offspring."

and i want to know how the flippity-fuck paris became famous in the first place? i mean, she hasn't done anything of note: no no. 1 box-office smash, no billboard no. 1 single, not even any decent porn. she is a sloe-eyed, dim-witted, drug/alcohol fueled white-trash tramp that could stand to eat a steak. as far as i can tell, all she has done is fuck up in such a way that all us normal parents would've disowned her/clubbed her like a baby seal eons ago, and somehow or other, this has made her famous.

the only thing i can think of that she has done that made me feel good about life at all was her jail stay, but considering she whined about it and pitched so many fucking fits about it, even that seems a huge waste of time. maybe if she had just ducked her head, done her time, toughed it out, and walked outta there a new person, i might find some table-scrap of respect for her, but no. she actually had the everloving gall to say "i bring beauty to the people of the world." your fucking kidding me, right? seriously?!?

so my predictions for the future: other than a yearly newscast, paris will go the way of oj simpson.

and coming soon to ebay: a million "dresses" (i use that term loosely), most only worn once, and many not worn at all, and paris' car, slightly dented, and unable to drive past any drug-sniffing dog without trouble, but otherwise in great shape.

other than crazy sleep patterns, the sardonics are all doing well. nothing really new to report there.

darth sardonic



Anonymous Anonymous said...

I bring beauty? Hahahahahaha!

2:50 AM  
Blogger Krissie said...

Ah, Paris Hilton... Ever the inspiration. Now that her grandpa is giving $60 000 000 to charity, she inspired me to try to find a way to register myself as one.

9:15 AM  
Blogger wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Here's something to think about: If Paris is so fucking wealthy, why did her mother look for people to cough up the bucks to pay for her coming-out-of-prison party? And why does Paris get paid to show up at clubs, etc? Surely, if she's rich, she doesn't need the money. I find her offensive.

9:34 AM  
Blogger Pixie said...

she's a troubled and sensitive young woman who deserves..... a large kick in the arse.
OH that's better, thought I was loosing it for a moment there.

1:02 PM  
Blogger Sparx said...

She makes me feel so OLD!! Not that I don't get the 'yout' of today, just that I want to cut off her pocket money and make her clean toilets for a few years until she GROWS TF UP!!!

4:15 PM  

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