an open letter to the beloved non-existants
what can i say, really? i mean, you guys are really helping more than you know for me to get through this little dip in the road.
and pixie, were i closer, we could be lonely and miserable together. but the british isles are a bit of a drive for me with two kids. and ty for reminding me that i don't really have it that bad, i know, really i do, in the back of my head, even in mid-whine.
i too, am looking forward to my blog when my wife gets back. i did alot of ranting. i was witty (well, i guess i am somewhat still). i still had my moments of massive deep feelings that would spill onto the page along with my tears, but not nearly as much as now.
the majority of you have only recently tuned in (mostly due to overcommenting on my part at sparx's blog, heh heh), and so have only really seen the mopey morose and ofttimes beleagured darth. i would encourage you, if you find yourself with free time and literally nothing else to do (i.e. showered, finger nails clipped, root canals all up-to-date), randomly pick a month from the archive and read through it, and maybe get a feel for the normal darth (first of all, those two things are a bit of an oxymoron, and second, this is normal me as well, just kind of put into a place of greater introspection through sleep deprivation, over-exposure to whining children, and missing important parts of my anatomy temporarily--the beauty of accepting the fact that you are a bucket of contradictions is the ability to accept that even when you are at your ugliest or most strung-out, even as you are shouting to the very heavens to crush you please, that is all still part of who you are, and doesn't negate the beauty that is within you and the good you do), and hopefully laugh as well. (funny, as i was rereading the line about being a bucket of contradictions to check and make sure i had gotten it right, i got a little choked up. a small bit of the malingering funk.)
other news in my world recently:
my mom and i were discussing some family issues, and she told me that she had told my brother that i had them (the immediate family) all beat, since i have always been comfortable in my skin. i almost asked my mom, what the fuck?!? clearly she missed the teen angst that lasted well into my twenties, hahahahaaa. it was odd to me to hear that even while i was torn up inside with dealing with, well, the fact that i am a bucket of contradictions, i seemed to present the image of being at ease with myself. i distinctly remember wishing on a nearly hourly basis that i was someone else, somewhere else, doing anything else than what i was doing. sometimes, i still do, though, except for here, i mostly keep it to myself.
i tore one half of my industrial out the other night. (i know, i know, you're all asking what an industrial is: it is a barbell that spans across the upper conch of the ear cartilege from front to back.) the front hole was pushing the barbell out, and i suspected i was going to need to repunch it (i may have even mentioned that here, can't remember), but the other night, i pulled it right out while removing my t-shirt. so i slid a small barbell through the back hole, and superglued the edges of the other together (you laugh, major hospitals use superglue on small cuts and stuff instead of stitches: it brings the edges together well, you don't need to be numbed, it protects the cut, and by the time the superglue falls off, the cut is well on its way to healing) and will have to wait a few months for everything to be healed well so i can repunch it, deeper this time, and get my industrial back. i also bled like fucking crazy, i looked like i had been in a battle or something. i should've taken a picture.
i got another three hours done on my back yesterday. when it is healed, i will post another picture. i probably have one more shading session, and then we will be into the color, which will take at least as long as the shading. barking mad, remember? barking mad.
there is little else at this moment to report. as we near the end of the week, i am feeling better, and the sun is actually out today. as they always say, this too shall pass.
and, with all of your continued help, it will pass pretty fucking fast.
darth sardonic
and pixie, were i closer, we could be lonely and miserable together. but the british isles are a bit of a drive for me with two kids. and ty for reminding me that i don't really have it that bad, i know, really i do, in the back of my head, even in mid-whine.
i too, am looking forward to my blog when my wife gets back. i did alot of ranting. i was witty (well, i guess i am somewhat still). i still had my moments of massive deep feelings that would spill onto the page along with my tears, but not nearly as much as now.
the majority of you have only recently tuned in (mostly due to overcommenting on my part at sparx's blog, heh heh), and so have only really seen the mopey morose and ofttimes beleagured darth. i would encourage you, if you find yourself with free time and literally nothing else to do (i.e. showered, finger nails clipped, root canals all up-to-date), randomly pick a month from the archive and read through it, and maybe get a feel for the normal darth (first of all, those two things are a bit of an oxymoron, and second, this is normal me as well, just kind of put into a place of greater introspection through sleep deprivation, over-exposure to whining children, and missing important parts of my anatomy temporarily--the beauty of accepting the fact that you are a bucket of contradictions is the ability to accept that even when you are at your ugliest or most strung-out, even as you are shouting to the very heavens to crush you please, that is all still part of who you are, and doesn't negate the beauty that is within you and the good you do), and hopefully laugh as well. (funny, as i was rereading the line about being a bucket of contradictions to check and make sure i had gotten it right, i got a little choked up. a small bit of the malingering funk.)
other news in my world recently:
my mom and i were discussing some family issues, and she told me that she had told my brother that i had them (the immediate family) all beat, since i have always been comfortable in my skin. i almost asked my mom, what the fuck?!? clearly she missed the teen angst that lasted well into my twenties, hahahahaaa. it was odd to me to hear that even while i was torn up inside with dealing with, well, the fact that i am a bucket of contradictions, i seemed to present the image of being at ease with myself. i distinctly remember wishing on a nearly hourly basis that i was someone else, somewhere else, doing anything else than what i was doing. sometimes, i still do, though, except for here, i mostly keep it to myself.
i tore one half of my industrial out the other night. (i know, i know, you're all asking what an industrial is: it is a barbell that spans across the upper conch of the ear cartilege from front to back.) the front hole was pushing the barbell out, and i suspected i was going to need to repunch it (i may have even mentioned that here, can't remember), but the other night, i pulled it right out while removing my t-shirt. so i slid a small barbell through the back hole, and superglued the edges of the other together (you laugh, major hospitals use superglue on small cuts and stuff instead of stitches: it brings the edges together well, you don't need to be numbed, it protects the cut, and by the time the superglue falls off, the cut is well on its way to healing) and will have to wait a few months for everything to be healed well so i can repunch it, deeper this time, and get my industrial back. i also bled like fucking crazy, i looked like i had been in a battle or something. i should've taken a picture.
i got another three hours done on my back yesterday. when it is healed, i will post another picture. i probably have one more shading session, and then we will be into the color, which will take at least as long as the shading. barking mad, remember? barking mad.
there is little else at this moment to report. as we near the end of the week, i am feeling better, and the sun is actually out today. as they always say, this too shall pass.
and, with all of your continued help, it will pass pretty fucking fast.
darth sardonic
Labels: i'm crazy, my non-existant readers, piercings, tattoo
posted by darth sardonic at 10:46 AM
6 Comments:
I can share that thing about being sorted out with you Darth. It doesn't matter how ill i have been, how knackered, how unhappy, people constantly tell me how well i look ...what.... fuck off i'm ill etc. Does my head in.
The suns out here to, so the world is a better place all round
love
pxx
In the words of the great poet, singer/songwriter india.arie:
"There's hope! It doesn't cost a thing to smile. You don't have to pay to laugh. You better thank God for that."
(I've been waiting for a chance to use that quote, from one of my favorite songs.)
I wasn't gonna say anything (I'm nice like that) but just the other day I was thinking to myself: When his wife gets back, this is gonna be a completely different blog. I swear, I did.
Trombone sextet's Kumbaya...
How many days is it now?
...and an anatomy lesson as well! Oh you big poophead you are doing brilliantly. Anyone who can put one foot in front of the other, and keep doing it day after day, is my hero.
You are building positive karma like Trump collects wives, and Branson collects businesses.
It will be a different blog once your wife comes home, because that is life eh? those of us who are your longtime non-existent readers know you are multifaceted.
Just keep breathing.
Owwww! It hurts just to read about your barbell. Hey Darthman, I'm looking forward to reading what you write when your wife is home. And I totally get what your mother said about you. You are sorted. We all have teen-age shit, but some don't grow out of it. You did.
It's all temporary hon, remember that... !
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