Fred
Hi, dis is Fred, I live in da pond behind 18 green. Dat's right, I said Fred. What, you think I should be Wally? Huh? Fuckin' smart-alecks. Darth told me you was a bunch a smart-alecks.
Darth has been kind enough to loan me his blog since I didn't attack him da other day when he was workin da Sand Pro. He seems like a decent guy to me. Didn't go crazy or act afraid, but more importantly, didn't try to throw golf balls at my head. Dat other pale bastard with the buzzcut, one a dese days, mark my words... SNAP!
Mostly, my days are spent soaking up da sun, terrorizing da old fuddy duddies, and eating the occasional bird or frog. What? I'm an alligator, it's what I do! You think I am gonna have a salad? Yeh yeh, the birds and frogs are cute, but dere's about a million-and-a-half of 'em all over, and dey tear up the lawn around da course. And da course is my home. You don't mess wid a man's home. Well, a 'gator's home, I mean to say.
One a my favorite things to do is to lay low in da long grass near da pond, watch da old guys dat can't golf hit da balls near me, den see how long it takes 'em to notice me as dey get near. Dey always jump about a mile when dey realize I am sitting dere, real still, a few feet from deir ball, watching dem widout moving. Oh, how dat makes me smile!
Well, I don't wanna take up too much a yer time. Just thought I'd stop in and leave a note to tell you dat I am here, lurking in da grass, just past the back side a da 18 sandtrap.
Darth sure don't capitalize nuthin', does he? Lazy mook. Oh, and he says to say, "Non-existant readers." Whatever dat's supposed to mean.
Darth may be a nice guy, but he sure isn't the smartest one I ever came across. Maybe I will bite his leg next time after all...
Fred
Darth has been kind enough to loan me his blog since I didn't attack him da other day when he was workin da Sand Pro. He seems like a decent guy to me. Didn't go crazy or act afraid, but more importantly, didn't try to throw golf balls at my head. Dat other pale bastard with the buzzcut, one a dese days, mark my words... SNAP!
Mostly, my days are spent soaking up da sun, terrorizing da old fuddy duddies, and eating the occasional bird or frog. What? I'm an alligator, it's what I do! You think I am gonna have a salad? Yeh yeh, the birds and frogs are cute, but dere's about a million-and-a-half of 'em all over, and dey tear up the lawn around da course. And da course is my home. You don't mess wid a man's home. Well, a 'gator's home, I mean to say.
One a my favorite things to do is to lay low in da long grass near da pond, watch da old guys dat can't golf hit da balls near me, den see how long it takes 'em to notice me as dey get near. Dey always jump about a mile when dey realize I am sitting dere, real still, a few feet from deir ball, watching dem widout moving. Oh, how dat makes me smile!
Well, I don't wanna take up too much a yer time. Just thought I'd stop in and leave a note to tell you dat I am here, lurking in da grass, just past the back side a da 18 sandtrap.
Darth sure don't capitalize nuthin', does he? Lazy mook. Oh, and he says to say, "Non-existant readers." Whatever dat's supposed to mean.
Darth may be a nice guy, but he sure isn't the smartest one I ever came across. Maybe I will bite his leg next time after all...
Fred
Labels: sanity is for the weak-minded
posted by darth sardonic at 8:56 AM
9 Comments:
"i think all of us with an "artistic core" are "moody sons a bitches" lol"
Hey, did you call me a moody son of a bitch?
Okay, I can live with that even if others can't
lol bbc, i was referring to myself hahaha, i make no bones in my blog about being a moody bastard.
lol bbc, i was referring to myself hahaha, i make no bones in my blog about being a moody bastard.
Fred, hi, nice to meet you an' all but please, don't eat Darth, we kinda like him as he is, limbs an' all. K, thanks, bye.
lol krissie, fred says he'll leave me alone, but only cause you are so cute and asked so nicely.
:) I like this. Nice for a grin on a Tuesday morning. Thanks!
yw z-i was practicing writing with a different voice. trying to capture other people's accents and such.
I believe they call that writing in the vernacular. It's my favorite way to read. You really get a good idea of the character by the way they speak.
Good job!
ty z
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