Monday, March 31, 2008

i wanna wake up naked next to you,

...kissing the curve in your clavicle.

my wife is back, yay!

mom is still here for a few more days. when i have gotten a chance, i have mentioned my concerns about my mom to my wife. she concurs. but we still don't really know what to do about it.

in other news, i caught my mom tapping her toe and attempting to hum along to alkaline trio in the car when she thought i wasn't looking.

we were at the beach yesterday, and i finally got tagged by a decent wave and bounced off the ocean floor, heh heh. i love swimming out till i can barely touch bottom and riding the waves. it is so peaceful and serene. and while i have gotten smacked in the face pretty good many a time, and have had my sinuses rather forceably lavaged, i have never ended up nose over tail.

until yesterday. and truth be told, it was because i was coming back in from the deep part, and was actually walking, and looking at my wife and kids in the shallows, when quite suddenly, this monster fucking wave was hanging over me. if i had just stood there and taken it, i woulda been ok.

but i thought, i will jump up into it. bad idea, baby huey.

i hit it just right that it flipped me over. talk about salt water in the sinuses.

now, the funny thing is that the time up until i jumped passed quickly, and like the matrix movies or 300, suddenly sloooooowed down after the wave hit me. but my thought-process remained at normal speed (and crazy calm, i might add).

you are gonna get slammed against the sand.

me: yes, i know.

should happen any minute now.

me: yeah.

wonder why it is taking so long?

me: dunno, but i wish it would hurry up and finish, this salt water is driving my nose crazy.

agreed. ever notice how the water seems warmer where it breaks? wonder why that is?

me: no idea, i spo--


us: (simultaneously) there it is.

i thumped my chin, did something to my arm (it was extra sore--but don't ask me how) and my neck is a little stiff today. also, holding on to one's progeny to keep them upright as the waves beat us both is incredibly hard on the knees if you already have a weak one.

i sure love the beach.

when we got back, we hosed the kids off in the driveway when the peaceful sunday afternoon was shattered by a shriek:

"my pee pee is stuck!!"

the lining on no. 1's bathing suit had gotten stuck to his, err, well, umm, pee pee, and he was rather flustered as to how he was going to remove his trunks.

the wife made sympathetic noises while simultaneously acting a bit scatterbrained. a quick shot of water, and my boy was free of his, err, fetters, and none the worse for wear and tear. till he gets old enough to read this. and realizes that anyone can. and notices that i am sharing it with all the girls he brings home to date. heh heh. (if my mom can tell the pee/bathroom floor story from when i was five to everyone, by christ, i am allowed to share embarassing stories about my kids to their potential girlfriends!)

for now, that is it, o my beloved non-existant readers.

darth sardonic

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Blogger zirelda said...

Ok. That's funny and I am now officially jealous. :)

7:19 PM  
Blogger darth sardonic said...

lol, z, ty

3:38 AM  
Blogger DJ Kirkby said...

Well the first bit of this post made me cringe, how scarey! The last bits were too funny, oooh that boy is going to make you pay someday! No my post is not an April Fool's joke. Some parts of my life appear to be going well for a change!

1:39 PM  
Blogger DJ Kirkby said...

P.S. glad to ehar your wife is back, i couldn't imagine life without Chopper for more than part of a day, I really admire you both for your strength!

1:40 PM  
Blogger darth sardonic said...

that is wonderful dj. i would probably be there too, if i was more motivated, lol. and it is always wonderful to get her back after she is gone. ty

2:56 AM  
Blogger lady macleod said...

Only you could have a Beach Day that involves a killer wave and stuck pee pee!

8:09 AM  
Blogger darth sardonic said...

lol lady macleod, welcome back to the land of the living. indeed, and follow it up with a grumpy moody post about not getting the job i wanted.

but fuck it, if i didn't do it, who would?

11:26 AM  
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2:55 AM  

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