Wednesday, October 22, 2008

pompous, posh, and prigs

and now to get to the golfers. (i know i know, sorry it took so long i have been busy!)

the golf course i work at is on base, and not one of the nicer ones in the area (or even in the air force, for that matter), and as a result at least 90% of the golfers are retired military.

i would venture a guess that most of those are retired officers. and the bulk of them are a) not very good golfers, despite thinking they are the greatest, and b) completely full of themselves:

instance one: recently, the horse n rider (a group of golfers who get together at the course regularly. i call them "dog n pony") team had a big get together with food, and one of the nicer ones invited all the employees of the golf course to join them for lunch. i showed up a little late, with a few of the other maintenance guys coming behind me, so i grabbed an empty table and sat down with my food. a few minutes later, an old fart golfer comes over and says, "hey guys, here's an empty table here." and sits down. he is joined by about 6 more golfers, all of whom don't even look my direction, let alone ask if i am saving seats, or say hi, or anything of the sort.

they then proceed to ignore me for several minutes as they scarf their food and bad-mouth the "liberal media".

instance two: i was doing set-up (every day we move the hole on the green so the grass doesn't get worn), and was on 9 punching a hole. 9 green is right by 1 tee box, and the golfers are usually waiting to tee off when i reach the 9th hole to set it up.

on this particular day, i am bent over filling the old hole and stand up and a ball lands about 3 feet away from me. i look over, and there is a golfer practicing on the 9th green while i set it up. i can see him, so i know he saw me and knew i was on the green. the thing that made this more offensive is that instead of practicing his chipping from say, 6 to 10 feet, he is about 25 feet away and down a hill, which means he had to put enough steak on the hit that if it had hit me, at the very least, it would've stung and left a nasty bruise.

instance three: i was by the pumphouse dumping some dirt. the pumphouse is off the 11 fairway, seperated by about 15 feet of rough (including trees) a small access road (about another 15 feet) and another 20 feet of fallow ground. when i pulled up to dump, there was a ball sitting there. over by the trees, a group of dog n pony-ers are searching for their ball. i whistle, and point to it. the guy drives over in his cart, and as he rounds up his (extremely way off course) ball, he says to me, snippily, "well why didn't ya kick it over?"

my first thought was, "why don't you fucking keep it on the fairway you lousy-assed golfer, then i wouldn't be your bitch boy." and my second thought "i don't fucking work for you."

but most of the golfers seem to think so.

darth sardonic

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Blogger Sandrine said...

Hi Darth,
Next time you see them at lunch,do the following:
Smile real big and say "bande d'abrutis" (bunch of stupids).It sounds just like "bon appetit" and you can get away with it if you speak fast and not too clearly(somebody I know did it).They will think you are very sophisticated and may even thank you! :)
Take care.

6:02 AM  
Blogger darth sardonic said...

lol i will have to give that a shot sometime sandrine, ty.

12:09 PM  
Blogger Queen Vixen said...

Chuckle. Yes you are right - miserable old farts with their heads stuck up their withered arses. Ignore them - everyone else does - is why they have to create the golf course parallel world where they are kings and anyone puching a hole is simply a serf and a peasant.

2:47 PM  
Blogger darth sardonic said...

lol queen vixen, this particular serf n peasant will kick some ass if he gets hit with a ball

2:14 AM  

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