My angel wings Were bruised and restrained

this post is sure to be angry and rant-like. just so's you know.

i had a ton of shit i wanted to do last night. i needed to fill out my paperwork for my gi bill, and fold and put away laundry, vacuum, shower n shave, etc.

it's a good thing i did my shower n shave first, cause i really needed it, i fucking reeked.

then i set to filling out the paperwork for my gi bill, that i was going to turn in today.

i needed to find a form that they gave me when i separated from active duty. so i looked in my ex-military paperwork. nope. then in the stuff i gathered together from my military days in order to be rejected for the dental assisting job here on base. nuh uh. then i looked in another folder with important documents. sorry, please try again. i went back through our files rabidly, like a poisoned man trying to find the antidote. then i went out to the garage and dove into the blue bin.

everyone must have some equivalent of the blue bin. the blue bin is where our keepsakes and shit that we don't really need but can't seem to part with end up. we almost never open it. in there, buried under my bombachos de gaucho and the "most improved" award i got my first year of x-country, beside my old scout uniform, i dig out all my air force files. i literally, no shit, have every piece of paper the air force ever gave me. except the one i need.

i look through again. i come back into the house and go through the files a third time. i text my wife, in dc for training, you know where my separation form is? which engenders a texting frenzy back and forth: nope, not there. not there either. looked there twice.

wife tells me to call, and i do. after which she tells me, "i'll find it when i get home on friday." but i wanted to turn it in tomorrow and get the process sta-- "it's only two days!" i looked everyw-- "yeah, but... i mean, it's you. i'll look, i know i remember seeing it." (the implication here is that i am incapable of finding shit, which is mostly true, but in this case, not really.)

how the sweet cherry fuckstain did i ever manage to get myself enrolled in two other major universities before my wife came into my life?!? let alone manage financial aide, buy books, etc etc? this is the same woman who not a week ago was chewing my ass out about getting a move on with the gi bill "because it's a lengthy process!"

she tells me to forget about it, not to worry, that she will find it when she gets home. i say, yeah, ok, it's not that big a deal, love you baby. and hang up.

then rip apart the files two more times, all the while cursing and fuming and about to lose my everloving mind.

nothing.

fuck it then! fuck it. i have spent several hours looking for this accursed piece of paper, to no avail, and now i don't give a shit whether i am able to turn in the paperwork tomorrow, or whether or not the clothes get folded.

i fix a whiskey n coke and sit to the computer and log into one of the chats i like to frequent, where someone i have been talking to manages to say just the wrong thing to me and i say, "yeah, i guess" instead of fighting with her moronic ass and log off and go to bed.

i awake exhausted, peeved, grumpy, and hungry for blood today.

while j and i have been working trimming the palm trees, as you can imagine, we have been leaving numerous piles of fronds all over the course, which someone usually comes and picks up with the frontloader.

for a couple days it was n, a lazy, good-for-nothing cunt who thinks the world owes him a living, and who has absolutely no qualms about sitting around the shop for an hour doing absolutely nothing, or talking to some hapless person at length about something that occured to him last night. j says, "i think he is mildly retarded." if he actually were, i might cut him some slack.

in the course of those two days, he picked up four piles. meanwhile, j and i added about fifteen more to the number of piles needing to be picked up.

the next day, r was on the frontloader, and in an hour picked up more than n had in two days.

j and i had had it. we were fed up with n's slovenly work ethic and his lackadaisical attitude, so we had a talk with our superintendant.

and he had a talk with n yesterday. so today, n is telling anyone who pretends to give a shit that he doesn't wanna hang out in the shop cause of "two certain individuals." i should point out that me n j are the only friends n has at work, as well. everyone, and i mean everyone, agrees that he is a shitty worker, and that his attitude stinks, but apparently he thinks that everyone but me, j, n our superintendant is on his side, cause he has been walking this story around the shop like a hooker on a streetcorner.

well fuck his dumb ass! he wouldn't dare say shit about it to me or j cause he knows from experience that we won't put up with his idiocy.

however, i really wish he would've said something to me today, cause i am chock full of piss n vinegar and would've loved to be provided for a deserving target upon which to unleash it.

meh, fuck it. life is stupid sometimes.

thanks for tagging along.

darth sardonic