Thursday, November 17, 2005

you know what would be fun?

i'm in the right mood (pissy) to let you, the loyal and long-suffering reader, in on a little "inside" joke i play against myself and any unwitting, unlucky passersby.

i say, "you know what would be fun?" and when the poor bastard says "what?" i follow it up with something that would most definitely not be fun for someone or someones present, but quite the opposite, would actually border on the inner circle of hell, more like.


(personal): "you know what would be fun?" "what?" "if someone came up behind me and tagged me right here [point at bony spot at back of head just above neck] with an aluminum baseball bat. that would be fun."

(group): "you know what would be fun?" "what?" "if a large meteorite came screaming through the roof of this place, scattering superheated shrapnel everywhere, and landed squarely on that guy [point at most mild-mannered, unassuming person nearby], spraying little pieces of him all over us. that would be fun."

(in general): "you know what would be fun?" "what?" "being gang-raped by angry prison guards, that would be fun."

try your own the next time you're somewhere you don't want to be, doing something you don't want to do. i love the looks i get. occasionally, i find someone (like my buddy m, from work) who plays along, and adds to the scenario, or, better still, comes up with his own scenario before i say mine.

i love that.

yes, i know i am a twisted and wicked fucker. no, i'm not getting help.

darth sardonic


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