Wednesday, March 12, 2008

philip seymour hoffman

as you can imagine, daylight savings has been stomping our butt some here at the sardonic house. the kids would stay up later than normal, and not want to wake up in time to get dressed and catch the bus, and would be grumpy and whiney. wait, no, that was me. well, me and them. ok, all of us, actually.

this morning, however, signs of the turn around: no. 2 says, "i need unnerwear." me: "you didn't grab underwear?" wife: from upstairs "i gave him underwear." no. 2: "i no can fine it." underwear falls out from the pile of clothes. me: "here they are, they were there the whole time, just under something." wife: from upstairs "so he takes after his dad, then?"

me: "oh ho hoooo. starting in early this morning, are we?"

the other night, my wife made me watch mission: impossible 3. honestly, since the demise of tom cruise's ability to be objective about himself, which coincided somehow with his induction into the scientology hall-of-shame, and subsequent goofiness and such, i could give a flying fuck about anything he has been involved in, least of all the mission: impossible tripe.

let's face it, the second one sucked hairy donkey ass. in all seriousness, it was so *yawn* bad that the only part i can remember is tom "vitamins cure autism" cruise up on one wheel of a motorcycle whilst shooting. and i may remember that simply because it is the image that gets pumped down our throats anytime they flash a preview for the movie across our retinas.

i could go on and on. however, for the sake of keeping this short (too late), i will simply say this, and then get to the point: the third one wasn't that bad. a little closer to the feel of the first one, which i think was actually the brick over which tom tripped and began his slippery descent into extreme narcissism/jesus christ complex, but was still really good.

but fucking philip seymour hoffman. jesus h. fucking christ!! hoh man, was he evil in this movie. god! i have always felt philip seymour hoffman was a pretty fucking incredible actor. a quick rundown of some stuff he has done, cause i am sure you are sitting there scratching your melon and shrugging your shoulders:

the lovable, loud-mouthed, overweight red-haired redneck kid in twister. the heavy-set closeted gay kid who so badly wanted to tussle with dirk diggler in boogie nights (he was a bit single white female in that movie). the highly-strung suit-wearing bookworm that hated patch's guts in patch adams. the gay, pretend-to-have-feelings-to-sell-a-book title character of capote. and many, many more. these are simply the ones that stand out in my head, and to show the gamut that he has run a bit.

and in this movie, he was so snarky, so full of himself, so evil and twisted and downright maniacal that i actually thought it would be beyond cool (and might actually have raised tom cruise's image some, in my mind at least) if, when he was threatening cruise's character shortly after being captured, cruise would have said, calmly and coldly, "oh, but you have no idea what i am capable of." and swiftly, without any warning and all the time with the cold, methodical look on his face, proceeded to start removing appendages off of philip seymour hoffman's character while asking him what the rabbit's foot was. as it was, cruise offs him later in the movie, but i didn't feel hoffman's character suffered nearly a fraction of what he should have.

yeah, so. and no, i am not seeking help.

darth sardonic

ps. and something is seriously wrong with tom's left eye. when he tries to look intense, it opens about five times as much as his right, giving him the overall appearance of someone that has been recently-clubbed with a table leg. probably not what he was going for in a few of those scenes.

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Blogger zirelda said...

lol at Tom Cruise. I watched about five minutes of Legend the other night. Man was he young. Sigh, so was I.

I have no idea who the other guy you're talking about is. We must watch totally different movies. The last movie I watched was Kickin it Old Skool and I actually felt brain cells dying.

7:11 AM  
Blogger darth sardonic said...

lol z, i felt brain cells dying from reading the title.

guess it is safe to say we watch different stuff. don't get me wrong, i am not at all above something mindless as long as it has great sex scenes, car chases, explosions, and fights. lol.

philip seymour hoffman, he is the guy to watch though.

9:07 AM  
Blogger Krissie said...

Oh! oh! Oh!
I know who he is! *is proud*
But only cuz I watch the Oscars. *is ashamed*
Anyway, like M:I, hated M:II, decided not to bother with M:III. But I should, huh?

2:58 PM  
Blogger darth sardonic said...

for philip seymour if for nothing else krissie. oh, and so you too will wonder if cruise's left eye is gonna fall out.

3:27 AM  
Blogger Pixie said...

well I like a rant as well as the next person, but Tom Cruise????
the man's a knob, and not worthy of the DS humour, or lack of it since you don't like him.
Yo I'm back !!!

12:24 PM  
Blogger darth sardonic said...

pixie, welcome back, and oh, yeah, tom cruise is always completely worth a few moments of my time, and sardonic wit!

sure nice to see you again.

3:26 AM  

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