this is a true story...

i promised something happier and with laughs, and i am about to deliver in spades.

but the details of this story are so outrageous that you, the beloved non-existent readers, will be tempted to say, "bullshit!" or "bollocks!" if you're from across the pond.

as would i, if it hadn't actually happened to me.

but let me assure you again, the details of this particular blog are true, actually happened, and i am even attempting to turn off my usual knack for exaggeration to bring it to you, my droogs and only friends, as uncluttered as i possibly can.

my wife was off work today, and the weather was nice, so we decided to go as a family to the beach.

we wanted to get there early, beat out the crowds and the unnatural florida heat, so we left the house tennish and headed over.

we spent some time waist-deep in the waves, enjoying the sheer emptiness of the beach.

we spotted the occasional dolphin snacking on fish about a quarter-mile off, popping in and out of the waves, and i was half-tempted to try and swim out there so i could honestly say i had swum with dolphins in the wild without it being a huge over exaggeration, but i was a little tired and not sure how dolphins feel about being interrupted whilst they dine.

seemed to me this would be the pinnacle of my day, easy. sharing the same site-distance ocean space with a small group of hungry dolphins. yeah, not quite.

then we went on a walk to collect some nice seashells. looking for unique ones, while the kids insisted on filling the bucket with the generic, run-of-the-mill white clam shells. i take my seashelling very seriously. i look for those really cool shells that would look amazing in our collection.

i see something dark and of odd shape that attracts me instantly.

as i get closer i let out an involuntary shout of excitement.

but i am pretty sure it is already dead.

then as i get closer, it jerks and tries to get away.

"hey come here check this out come here come here!!" i call excitedly to my family.

but the poor little fella is knackered, and the waves catch him and wash him back and forth and he is at their mercy, so my wife catches him back up, and we go back to my original idea that he must be dead.

until he tries to swim out of her hand.

now we are carrying him rapidly back to our sandcastle stuff and blankets. my wife fills a small bucket with water and goes to call someone she works with who is one of the wildlife people at the cape.

when she comes back, the boys and her and i sit around watching the little baby turtle float leisurely in the bucket, occasionally swimming some to get some air. over time, he perks up quite a bit, and by the time linda, another wildlife lady, shows up, he seems pretty pleased with his existence.

she assures us that one of two things will happen, if he is unable, for whatever reason, to return to the ocean, then sea world will take him. otherwise, they will bring him back at 6 am when the predators are all asleep and let him swim out to sea.

if i hadn't happened along when i did, he would've been a meal for something. or if we had just assumed that since he was in the ocean he was fine; ditto.

so today, i saved a life. and i am pretty proud. but credit where credit is due: if my wife hadn't known some numbers to call, and if i wasn't ably assisted by my two ignatz, things might've also turned out differently.

whatever the case may be, best of luck to baby turtle turkelson (i didn't name him, the chitlins did, lol).

darth sardonic