if you're looking for cleverness here...

i have been at this blog thing for right around a year.

what have i learned? not much, really, but i have learned these things:

i suck at clever titles. most of my "pals" are sporadic posters at best (a couple of them seem to have dropped off the face of the earth altogether). most people who blog are only interested in what they have to say, and aren't really interested in using this forum as a means for sharing ideas, making friends, or touting the literary ability or cleverness of other bloggers. i'm not as sarcastic as i like to think. i miss my dad, occasionally. i whine alot about shit that other people would give their left hind leg to have, but at the same time, i realize just how lucky i am. i am a big bucket of contradictions (though not as big as when i started posting). i will eventually finish my book, as long as i'm patient with myself, and i try not to expect too much from myself. the secrets i hold within myself because i feel they would be too "shocking" for the world are being openly shared by others in their blogs. i love the pacific northwest. i've got wonderful children who occasionally piss me off to a point that i have never reached before. this site is a good place for me to vent my spleen. i actually believe that other people read this, at the same time that i'm calling whatever readers i do have "nonexistant". i am a big bucket of contradictions. i'm not afraid of death so much as afraid of what i will miss. things are never as bad as they seem. every so often i get filled with a big love for the universe and everything in it, and an overwhelming feeling of hope and goodness. i hate people in general, but love several of them individually. i am a big bucket of contradictions.

i'm glad a few of you have stuck this out with me for a year, and here's to many more.

darth sardonic