the translator

i have begun to notice a trend at the sardonic household. this or similar scenes have been happening with more and more regularity.

this morning we are attempting the school replacement thing that i talked about before. and i guess it's like eggbeaters, or sunny delight, not even remotely as good as the real thing, but it will do in a pinch.

no. 2 decided he wanted to watch a movie. i said no. whining and crying ensued. no. 1 appears at no. 2's side and looks at me and says:

"why no. 2 crying, daddee?"

"cause he wants a movie and i told him no."

no. 1 turns to no. 2 and says, "daddee sez no no. 2 moovee."

no. 2, to no. 1: "uhno, no ahbashooah. uhbamooo."

no. 1, to me: "no. 2 want movee, daddee."

me, to no. 1: "i know, but no movies. he needs to pick out a book or a toy."

no. 1, to no. 2: "daddee sez pimma boo doy."

no. 2 cries more, shakes head vehemently: "no, no shammaooah ooooo ahh. MOOO!!"

no. 1: "no. 2 no wan book or doy, wan movee, daddee."

me: "well, you don't watch movies at school, so it's not movie time right now, sorry."

no. 1: "daddee sez no wamma movee skool. pimma boo doy."

no. 2 cries harder, throws self on floor: "uuuuhooooooommmammmaaah."

no. 1, to no. 2: "cummon, no. 2, we go pimma doy, no kky. no kky, no. 2"

now, if this ploy had worked, and no. 2 wasn't standing here crying in my ear in a language i cannot understand, and my miniature translator hadn't decided, fuck this, i am going outside, that would be keen.

darth sardonic