Friday, May 04, 2007

this is me breathing

ok, this time with my wife overseas is going to be nothing if not interesting:

today, upon arrival from school, and as i was setting up the video games so that they might play them for a bit and i might finish laying down a guitar track on the computer that was giving me an unfair amount of headache, no. 1 says, "welcome to da no. one show. dis is my friends daddy an no. 2. dese are video games."

shortly thereafter, i am sure i hear no. 2 say "fug it."

i say, "what?"

"fug it, dada, fug it in."

no. 2 is pointing at the controller that i am getting ready to plug in to the console.

"oooooooh." (remind me to share a story of no. 2's actual usage of the work fuck. in the story, he's cute and i am an asshole.)

no. 1 is all set for college dorm life, having pulled out my wife's larger glass measuring cup, putting in a rather overdone amount of lucky charms, adding apple juice to it, and eating it with one of our biggest wooden spoons. if i can get him to eat pizza that has been sitting out on a desk for three days, he's all set.

early thursday morning, i drive my wife to the airport. we had this agreement not to cry in front of each other, and despite occasionally noticing red, watery eyes, we held pretty true. but i got a little gulpy telling her i loved her as we hugged at the drop-off.

"don't cry don't cry." she says.

this has been percolating within me for three days, easily. i gulp it down, hold my breath, and dive into the car, waving frantically from within the safety of tinted windows, the tears spilling down my cheeks despite my efforts to hold them back.

the whole ride home is accomplished in a wavey haze of tears, the radio drowned out by the sound of my own sobs.

by the time i walk through the door, i am tired, mopey, but ready to take this challenge on. then i get dealt the parting shot: a note in front of the computer; "i love you! miss u already!"

after another five minutes or so, i calm down again.

but, in the midst of all this crying, o beloved non-existant reader, i have the image of all the crying we will do when my wife returns. so yes, i am sad. and yes, i will miss her like i would miss my eyes or arms if someone took them away, and have already experienced about a million things i would normally share with her when she arrived home from work, but i know that these months shall pass rapidly, and we will have so much to share.

and baby, i love you too, and i missed you before i even knew i was missing you.

and no, i am not crying. though my throat seems a little tight. hmmmm, odd.

darth sardonic

ps. i tagged krissie (no doubt to be added to my pals list soon) but in the meantime go to the comments and click the link, i am too fucking lazy to add html links or whatever fucking thing it is. that makes four, we should assume that is the best you are to get from me.

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Blogger Krissie said...

Would I be upset?
Flattered is more like it.
And hang in there, ok?

2:10 PM  
Blogger jenny said...

I must say that it does my soul good to know that there are other men out there that love their wives as much as mine loves me. I feel for you as I cant imagine being apart from my Hubby for longer than a week. As a non-existent reader, I'll will be checking back from time to time and if you wouldnt mind, I'd like to add you to my links list.

4:09 PM  
Blogger darth sardonic said...

jenny, i would be beyond honored. your blog is very interesting and informative, and i enjoy reading it. ty.

11:58 PM  

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