Tuesday, July 10, 2007

do you ever...?

do you ever sit down cause you had this really great blog post idea, and end up staring at the screen for several minutes while all those good metaphors leak out of your ears like chlorinated water after the pool?

no, of course i never have. i mean, c'mon! i'm darth sardonic.

i think i broke some kind of damn sitting-still-with-my-mind-a-complete-blank record. (while the monkey scribbled on little pieces of paper. can i have a banana? eek eek.) like the site of the posting screen on my computer is linked to some subliminal memory-erase dealy to render me senseless and dim, as if i have entered some piss-poor 1984 rip-off or something. the thought-police are going to kick in my door and find me seated in front of my computer with my eyelids at half-mast and drool dribbling down my chin.

"heh heh, we got 'im. never fails, that ol' subliminal blogger memory-wipe thing big brother 'as set up, yeah?"

i have been listening to a song alot in my car as me and the wee ones toddle around, the little blighters joining in from the backseat for the choruses, with much fist-pumping and head-banging. i have alluded to it before, but the more i listen to it, the cooler it is. i want to dedicate it to several people in my recent past:

"Jaked On Green Beers" (alkaline trio)

It's been a long time since I've been close to you
It's been a long time since I've been sad.
It's been a while since I've really spent time with you
Wish I could take back the times that I had.
The only thing that you ever really did for me
Was make me oh so miserable.
And the hope that I never see your face again
Is anything but questionable.
I hope this is goodbye.
I hope this is goodbye.
There was a time when I thought you were a friend to me
I think those times I was probably just drunk.
And if they offered a test about being a good friend
I'd put money down that you'd surely flunk.
The only thing that you ever really took from me
Were my records to sell them for dope.
Now all I have left is this heart in my chest
And my happiness helping me cope
I hope this is goodbye
It's been a long time since I've been close to you.
It's been a long time since I've been sad.
It's been a while since I've really spent time with you.
Wish I could take back the times that I had.
The only thing that you ever really did for me
Was make me oh so miserable.
And the hope that I never see your face again
Is anything but questionable.
There was a time that I thought you were a friend to me
I think those times I was probably just drunk.
And if they offered a test about being a good friend
I'd put money down that you'd surely flunk.
The only thing that you ever really took from me
Were my records to hawk them for dope.
Now all I have left is this heart in my chest,
Your dishonesty helping me cope.
I hope this is goodbye.
I hope this is goodbye....

for meathead, dickhead, the ex, and a handful of other twats and cunts still running around thinking they didn't fuck me over and wondering why i am such an asshole, heh heh. good riddance.

and i know, i know. this is a complete cheater post. but hey, i have already established that i had this incredibly clever and well-thought-out post that the evil totalitarian government has stolen through some kind of ethernet subliminal mind control thingamabob that is completely beyond my ability to grasp or combat.

in other news, the kids are well, the days have been lovely, the members of my family are all coppertone, we are swimming in grammy's pool later, i have gotten back into working out and eating right after a break due to illness/pissiness/tiredness/over all whininess, and today bought a pair of levis 501's that are a 34 waist that actually fit! this is pretty significant. because even back in the day when i was a scrawny-assed loser who wore 32 waist jeans, i had to buy 34 waist 501's for them to fit. these are, i will admit, a bit snug still, but fuck yeah motherfucker!!! i would pat myself on the back if i wasn't still sore from the tat that is still healing but coming soon to a blog post near you.

in the meantime, thanks for playing along.

darth sardonic

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6 Comments:

Blogger Krissie said...

do you ever sit down cause you had this really great blog post idea, and end up staring at the screen (...)?
All the time...

10:15 AM  
Blogger lady macleod said...

well sure I guess if you are going to be all buff, and tattooed, you can't go about singing "Old MacDonald" can you?

6:03 PM  
Blogger wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Guess what? Uh, I forgot what I was going to say. I blame it on the menopause, but no such luck for you, Darthman.

12:12 PM  
Blogger Queen Vixen said...

Darth, your posts are always great. Drool and heavy lids notwithstanding.

1:05 PM  
Blogger Pixie said...

I hope pics are coming soon to a computer near here, either the Tat or the 501s will do, or perhaps both together.

But that's all as brain is out to lunch , soooo.....
px

3:11 PM  
Blogger jAMiE said...

I always enjoy your posts, salty language and everything...so if you have times when you just stare at the screen...it doesn't show.

1:42 AM  

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