Just give me medicine prescribe me anything

today's title is from a great song by alkaline trio (i really can't stand their music at all, heh heh) entitled (cleverly, and with a sardonic tongue-in-cheek wit so similar to my own) take lots with alcohol. i really wish i had thought of that. instead, i wrote a song entitled pills and shots inspired by an old "friend" who had a tendency to walk the razor's edge between this world and the next...

i have been--well, not really busy, so much as, well, reclusive. i have to admit, i haven't really been doing a fair job of either posting here or reading all of your posts, o my beloved non-existant readers, my droogs and only friends.

why? good question. partly because i am still (yes, still) recouping from this evil cold, and i am tired all the time. partly because november just seems to be a rough month in the sardonic household, and holding true to novembers past, we've been having some fun times around the place. nothing unsurmountable, or over-the-top. just little stuff that piles and piles. i always said if i was going to snap and go on a killing spree, it would easily be the little niggledy shit that would do it.

i actually asked a friend recently why i was never allowed to be the one in the family who had the "breakdown"? he informed me that i was the "strong" one. again, this is similar to my mother saying that i have always been comfortable in my own skin: what the fuck?!? me, the strong one?

i guess. but i actually think that my wife and i compliment each other so very very well, that when i do have a "breakdown" she is in the right frame of mind to deal with it quickly and efficiently, and when she has the "breakdown" i am in the right frame of mind to deal with it quickly and efficiently. i am also a bit of a perky little annoying glass-half-full motherfucker most times (shhhh, don't tell anyone). usually. this time around, i was low (with being sick and tired, literally) and then she had her little moment, and wham bam thank you ma'am, my little moment happened right on top of that one.

am i saying that i believe men have "periods" too? well, i cannot speak for all my external-genitalia brethren, but this bastard sure does. and wife's and mine coincided recently on top of other concerns. fun times. the kids decided it would be fun to chime in too.

where am i going with all this? shit, i don't know. god, you non-existants expect so much, geez. postings and such, and on top of that, actual meanings and reasons?!? all wrapped up in a pretty package?!?

hahaha, just kidding, just thought i would ramble, try to explain why i haven't been as "active" (at which, no doubt, i have failed miserably), maybe set the stage for a more normal post of my usual style (do i even have a usual style? i mean, honestly. some days i write a story either mostly true or completely fictional, some days i rant, some days i cough up random nonsequitors like ee cummings having a verbal dual with salvador dali and david lynch providing the play-by-play, some days i just piss and moan (like today) about stupid shit whilst my inner monologue says, "quit yer fucking whining, ya pansy! you've got it so good, and yet here you sit griping about things that others wish they had!" is there an actual genre to cover all that? if there is, i would love to know what it is, so i can have an idea of how to describe my someday-soon-hopefully novel. it's a bit hard to actually explain right now).

wow, i have gone off on such a tangent i am afraid i can't even find my way back to the original point, so i am going to do what the aforementioned mr cummings would do, and just drop it completely. on another side-note, i have always loved ee cummings' writing. i never really realized how much he had influenced my own style until i recently purchased a largish book of his poems. so many witty little tricks that he tries i have stolen, and unwittingly pawned off as my own.

was i going anywhere with any of this?

not really.

darth sardonic