i would rather not go back to the old house...
tonight my buddy s and i are going back to our hometown of orting to a local pub there for a wet t-shirt contest.
now, i know what your thinkin': "darth, how did you become so clever, studly, and good-looking?" oh, wait. damn. hang on. ah, here it is: "darth, why on earth would you go to a predominantly backwoods and rednecked town for what's sure to be a pathetic, sad, and probably small sexist testosterone-fest?"
well, i'll tell ya. i've alluded to the fact that i enjoy viewing the female form, especially in the nude. this would include observing enebriated females who cavort while displaying their assets through a thin layer of saturated undyed cotton. it is a celebration of life!!
okay, maybe not all that much, but, overall, i think it will be a singular experience to go back to the town i hated so much as a teenager, sit down in one of the oldest drinking establishments there, with one of my longest-running friends, and watch the young, recently-out-of-high-school fake id'ers who know little of the bigger world, and the occasional jaded, wish-i-could-get-out-of-this-town older ladies as they drunkenly parade about.
and yes, i think my sick and twisted sense of humor has a huge play in the fact that i even think this would be fun in the first place, but there's something more. when i graduated from orting high school, i left and swore i would never come back. but recently my mother moved out to a 55+ community there, and now my ole high school buddy s has just bought a house out there, and i'm beginning to spend more time running around that dumb ole town. and the town has changed.
but i don't wonder if maybe it isn't really the town that's changed so much as me. my attitude has changed, the people who made orting hell for me have all died or moved away, and now people who i love and care for and who are big parts of my life live there.
so i embrace all that is orting, even the remaining backwoodedness and redneckedness, because orting is where i grew up, and it is a part of me. i can even laugh with my wife about all the shit i went through in that town.
so i'm gonna toss back a few with my pal s, and watch cold wet boobs through white t-shirts, while the harley riders and flannel-clad farmers whoop and holler, cause, fuck, let's face it, that's who i am.
extra points to the person or persons who can name the song and/or band of the title lyric.
now, i know what your thinkin': "darth, how did you become so clever, studly, and good-looking?" oh, wait. damn. hang on. ah, here it is: "darth, why on earth would you go to a predominantly backwoods and rednecked town for what's sure to be a pathetic, sad, and probably small sexist testosterone-fest?"
well, i'll tell ya. i've alluded to the fact that i enjoy viewing the female form, especially in the nude. this would include observing enebriated females who cavort while displaying their assets through a thin layer of saturated undyed cotton. it is a celebration of life!!
okay, maybe not all that much, but, overall, i think it will be a singular experience to go back to the town i hated so much as a teenager, sit down in one of the oldest drinking establishments there, with one of my longest-running friends, and watch the young, recently-out-of-high-school fake id'ers who know little of the bigger world, and the occasional jaded, wish-i-could-get-out-of-this-town older ladies as they drunkenly parade about.
and yes, i think my sick and twisted sense of humor has a huge play in the fact that i even think this would be fun in the first place, but there's something more. when i graduated from orting high school, i left and swore i would never come back. but recently my mother moved out to a 55+ community there, and now my ole high school buddy s has just bought a house out there, and i'm beginning to spend more time running around that dumb ole town. and the town has changed.
but i don't wonder if maybe it isn't really the town that's changed so much as me. my attitude has changed, the people who made orting hell for me have all died or moved away, and now people who i love and care for and who are big parts of my life live there.
so i embrace all that is orting, even the remaining backwoodedness and redneckedness, because orting is where i grew up, and it is a part of me. i can even laugh with my wife about all the shit i went through in that town.
so i'm gonna toss back a few with my pal s, and watch cold wet boobs through white t-shirts, while the harley riders and flannel-clad farmers whoop and holler, cause, fuck, let's face it, that's who i am.
extra points to the person or persons who can name the song and/or band of the title lyric.
posted by darth sardonic at 7:36 AM
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