Tuesday, March 01, 2005

more unsolicited movie reviews...

okay, first off, it is absolutely fucking gorgeous outside today, so me and the kids hopped in their stroller (well, really, they hopped in, i kinda hopped behind with forward impetus), and we did the three-mile trek to the library. man, that feels good. i also got considerably less sleep last night than i should've, but am currently in the "everything's hunky dorey" phase of sleep deprivation. tomorrow or the next day, i will be in the "woe is me, everything sucks!" phase. hopefully not, but this is usually how these things work, o my brothers.

but for now, i am riding high on the emotional rollercoaster.

now, down to the reviews. the wife picked out a japanese movie called in the realm of the senses. this movie is an obsessive lust story that has never been shown in japan because it's never passed the censors. it is based on a true story. complete with lots of nudity, some actual insertion (actually, more even than caligula), and some just truly bizarre scenes. the verdict: it wasn't horrible, but not really good either. when it was over, i told the wife she couldn't give me a hard time about having picked out caligula anymore. she sniveled something about "it sounded good in the reviews" or some such thing. i give it two limp penises.

last night i watched garden state. i'm not even sure why, nor can i place my finger on what it is, but this movie was fucking brilliant. a very well-done movie by the goofy kid from scrubs. i think it was the dynamic betwixt the different characters. and it felt real. scrubs-kid comes home from la, and hangs out with his friends, who still smoke pot, laze around, and chase tail. i thought, "shit, his friends are my friends." plus scrubs-kid's character is a character in transition, who is finally taking hold of his life, who isn't going to take it anymore. incredibly well-written, well-acted, with that weird feel that i love about these kinds of movies. watch it. if it is the last thing you do. if you have a sense of humor, a family that isn't related to the cleavers, and a pulse, you've got to see this one. 7 thumbs way up. (i'm hoping that history will show that i am the only person in history to have given a movie 7 thumbs up!!)

and finally, the notebook. someone from work told my wife to rent this one. we didn't want to see it cause the previews made it look like a predictable, and probably mostly sappy, love story. but we rented it, and it was predictable. occasionally, but not always, sappy. then at the end it threw us a fucking curveball that turned our eyes to salt water and made our noses leak. some sort of vibrations that the movie emitted. i don't completely understand. i'm not even sure i can recommend it, cause i really liked it, but it is still a mostly sappy and fairly predictable movie. if you are in love with someone with the kind of love that is going to last forever, and you want to bawl your eyes out, rent it. if not, or movies like fried green tomatoes, bridges of madison county, and the forrest/jenny subplot of forrest gump make you want to puke, gouge your eyes out, or both, give it a miss. i give it two indecisions up.

now i gotta go shave and shower and do a little picking up around this pigsty before i must go spend four hours lost in lakewood, so i'll leave all of you to it.

darth sardonic

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