Monday, February 21, 2005

a newly reformed alice in chains...

recently, a concert was held here in seattle to aide tsunami victims in asia, featuring a newly reformed alice in chains. it was a smashing success, with reviews from concert-goers stating such things as "this is the concert we'll be talking about for the next ten years" and "i've wanted to see alice in chains since i was little, and now i have."

in light of this success in helping the people of thailand and indonesia, seattle powers-that-be are planning an even bigger concert extravaganza to include such newly reformed bands as: blind melon, sublime, joy division, the ramones, the mamas and the poppas, mother love bone, the clash, and pantera.

with solo appearances by: jimmi hendrix, william s. burroughs, stevie ray vaughn, buddy holly, steven jesse bernstein, and janis joplan.

and comedic performances from: chris farley, john belushi, and johnny carson.

and such all-star headlining acts as: the beatles, nirvana, the doors, and elvis.

tickets are available through what-are-you-fucking-stoned? productions, and posthumous tickets, inc. and to all those people who were so fucking thrilled to see the newly reformed alice in chains in concert, fuck you.

darth sardonic

2 Comments:

Blogger Mme. A. said...

Could you send me a ticket if I send you money by paypal? I'm really interested in seeing Elvis. I've been dreaming with the man since I was stoned in Amsterdam and saw his face floating over the carpet pattern. And Jim and Jimi, of course. :-D

You forgot to mention The Big Bopper. Richie Valenz and... and... lemme see: Elliot Smith. Johnny Cash? Hmm...

I just hate when people try to revive bands that are dead. It's never going to be the same thing, so if it's not going to be the same thing, why not change the name and start something new? I mean, I think the guys from Alice in Chains were famous enough to live for the rest of their lives off royalty and what-not, so they should just experiment a little.

But then, there are people who are too afraid of doing something different. I think that when you become famous the critics become a ghost that haunts you for the rest of your life.

Or not.

I'm not famous YET. Once I make it big, I will make sure to review this comment.

Ha!

8:06 AM  
Blogger darth sardonic said...

heya, archenar, welcome back-

i don't think it was the surviving members of alice in chains that pushed for this thing. i've read lots of interviews with jerry cantrell (guitarist) that lead me to believe that he felt that it was all over with the loss of lane.

i think it was producers and moneymakers who pushed for it, and the thing that ticked me off was how everyone treated it like lane staley wasn't missing. and without lane staley, there is no alice and chains. no one has that voice, that on-stage charisma.

anyways,

darth sardonic

8:25 AM  

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