jesus, won't you fucking whistle?

any residual hornetry is removed. but i noticed something, when bees die, it's like they're trying to sting something, anything, as they go out. they are some tough motherfuckers.

my kids have two volumes: loud, and nuclear blast. most of the time i don't even care. some mornings, though, it's very noticeable. no. 1 will just keep yelling the same thing over and over and over until your brains turn to mush. each sentence punctuated with "okay, buddy?"

he just said to me, "you take it, now go!" and boy, do i want to, o beloved nonexistant readers, do i ever.

apparently, when i became a pizza delivery guy, that became all my friends think about when they think about me. if i had a dollar for every time my roommates or friends call up and ask if i am bringing home pizza, i'd be rich. it would be one thing if they didn't follow up "you bringing home pizza tonight?" with "can we get pineapple and pepperoni?" or "sausage and jalapenos?" then i get to stand around for an extra ten minutes while it gets made. some of my friends work in restaurants, i don't ask if they can bring home a ham and cheese sandwich or a burger.

no. 2 has figured out how to take his diaper off. this means fun for me. just this morning, he took his diaper off, getting poop all over himself and sundry other things, then screamed like i was ripping his arms off when i put him in the shower. the entire time i was washing him clean, he shrieked at top volume right into my face while i got soaked in lukewarm water. then i had to clean the tub and round up laundry while he peed on the floor. he needs to be potty-trained in the worst way, for his own safety.

and why can't we not be sober? just curious.

darth sardonic