Friday, February 02, 2007

Yeah he's gonna make a fortune

Panning gold out of a bottle of Goldschlager shot by shot by shot...

sounds good to me. i always liked goldschlager.

so, the kids continue to tear apart the tony hawk game we bought them (and no, i receive no royalties from tony hawk, nor the company that makes the game, or any others i mention here, for that matter. and considering that i am usually sitting on my ass in underwear and munching on an oversized peanut butter sandwich when i post, i'm not really going to press the issue.) (as a further aside from the aside, i always thought i had met the skater steve caballero whilst in buenos aires. i knew a mormon missionary by the same name who was reputed to have been a skater and photographer for thrasher magazine. used to be my one claim to fame. after quite a bit of online research, i can find no evidence that the famous skater is/was mormon, and/or served a mission in argentina. probably some other rather cool and funny character from california by the same name, and a case of mistaken identity. if anyone has any info on this one, i could sure use it, thanks. haha. gonna have to quit saying "hey, i knew that guy!" everytime i see him on tv.), and it has a level wherein you can build your own skatepark. and man, let me tell ya, no. 1 makes some collossally cool skateparks. and then skates them. performing tricks with names like stalefish and crooked cop and god knows what else. who comes up with these damn names for these things, anyhow?

after two trips through the tutorial, i can do a "sloppy" ollie (i.e., a not-very-good jump from a flat-travelling position) and a really piss-poor 50-50 grind where i nearly fall off the wall and wave my arms frantically. the little computer-generated characters stop whatever they are doing and laugh at me. yeah, and my five-year old kid does some kind of insanely convoluted button-pressing/joystick-manuevering thing while bouncing on one foot that combines a grind with a manual with an airwalk with a tailgrab and a backflip while balancing plates and spinning a little dog that garners him about a billion points and causes the game to fucking shut down for a cigarette and a little post-coital cuddle.

and yet, he still wants me to try and get the video tape that will open up other levels for him to play.

until next time, o my beloved non-existants. and i know you are battering your heads on this one: nerf herder, easy mark.

darth sardonic

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