life is funny, and odd, and never ceases surprising...

remember how i said the saga of the door latch wasn't ended? boy, was i ever right. the door locked up on me again at the start of the shift last night, and i was forced to either dukes-of-hazard my way in and out or drag my 6'1" frame across the e brake and gearshift all night long.

needless to say, i am done. there are no shortage of interested parties, even though the driver's side door won't open, and it is time to move on. hopefully, we can find something just as cool that won't give me as much trouble.

the days are lengthening, and god damn, am i ready. when i get the kids on the bus early in the morning, it is light, and when i leave for work later in the evening, it is light. today, it was beautifully sunny, and the kids wanted to try out the new skateboard i had purchased earlier, so we spent a good hour outside (it would've been longer, but the boyos also had dental appointments today) discovering that no. 1 thought it was gonna be more like the video game, that he would just hop on the board and begin pulling methods, and dorky slugbutts, and sick 50/50 rail kiss-front plant god-knows-whats. he found out it was a whole lot more than that. not sure he is gonna take up skateboarding like i thought.

no. 2, on the other hand, just cried and cried cause i told him he couldn't go back into the tinieblas (funny, the english word for that just completely escapes me at this moment) to ride the skateboard some more. as it turns out, the kid with the balance problems is also the most likely to be the next tony hawk and continue to give me the lifestyle to which i wish i had grown accustomed.

while working on the-soon-to-not-be my car, i dented the part of my wedding ring that went on the underside of my finger, and in trying to straighten it, i cracked it. oh my god, was i dancing around like a madman. i never was much of a jewelry kinda fella, but when i saw that wedding ring, i knew it was the one. well, it turns out that i have to retire it at least until i can fix it and will it to one of the boys to have as a family heirloom.

but i have already purchased a tungsten ring with a celtic pattern engraved into it, and i'm pretty pleased about that. in the meantime, my entire hand feels incredibly underdressed.

oh, yeah, twilight, that's it.

darth sardonic

Yeah he's gonna make a fortune

Panning gold out of a bottle of Goldschlager shot by shot by shot...

sounds good to me. i always liked goldschlager.

so, the kids continue to tear apart the tony hawk game we bought them (and no, i receive no royalties from tony hawk, nor the company that makes the game, or any others i mention here, for that matter. and considering that i am usually sitting on my ass in underwear and munching on an oversized peanut butter sandwich when i post, i'm not really going to press the issue.) (as a further aside from the aside, i always thought i had met the skater steve caballero whilst in buenos aires. i knew a mormon missionary by the same name who was reputed to have been a skater and photographer for thrasher magazine. used to be my one claim to fame. after quite a bit of online research, i can find no evidence that the famous skater is/was mormon, and/or served a mission in argentina. probably some other rather cool and funny character from california by the same name, and a case of mistaken identity. if anyone has any info on this one, i could sure use it, thanks. haha. gonna have to quit saying "hey, i knew that guy!" everytime i see him on tv.), and it has a level wherein you can build your own skatepark. and man, let me tell ya, no. 1 makes some collossally cool skateparks. and then skates them. performing tricks with names like stalefish and crooked cop and god knows what else. who comes up with these damn names for these things, anyhow?

after two trips through the tutorial, i can do a "sloppy" ollie (i.e., a not-very-good jump from a flat-travelling position) and a really piss-poor 50-50 grind where i nearly fall off the wall and wave my arms frantically. the little computer-generated characters stop whatever they are doing and laugh at me. yeah, and my five-year old kid does some kind of insanely convoluted button-pressing/joystick-manuevering thing while bouncing on one foot that combines a grind with a manual with an airwalk with a tailgrab and a backflip while balancing plates and spinning a little dog that garners him about a billion points and causes the game to fucking shut down for a cigarette and a little post-coital cuddle.

and yet, he still wants me to try and get the video tape that will open up other levels for him to play.

until next time, o my beloved non-existants. and i know you are battering your heads on this one: nerf herder, easy mark.

darth sardonic

...and don't forget the joker

a very special ty to my pal g, who got my oldest hooked on tony hawk skateboarding video games. bastard.

so i had some extra guita in my pocket, and we were killing time at the mall, so i popped into a game store, and picked up a used tony hawk game for the ps2 (and crazy taxi for myself--change "taxi" to "pizza driver" and toss in a pierced and tatted stay-home dad and a red prelude and hey, presto! you've got me exactly. hahaha.)

now, no. 1 turns video games into a full-contact sport. he leaps around playing the game, and even if he manages to remain in the same spot on the floor, he is bouncing up and down the entire time (he is gonna be absolutely bad-ass in a mosh pit when he gets older.)

so i notice they play this one song over and over alot. ace of spades. it's catchy as fuck, and pounding and fast, so i kinda dig it.

so does no. 1. as he bounces up and down and maneuvers his skateboard on the screen, he is singing, "the eggs is break. the eggs is break." and then humming the raucous guitar chords.

i crack up, and decide i better download it. so i say to myself, "i wonder who sings it?" and almost instantly it pops in my head: motorhead. don't fucking ask me how i knew that either. some deep deep pit of my subconcious coughed that one up.

and let the fun begin.

later, he was playing the game again, and i heard him singing, "hey, ho! let's go! hey, ho! let's go!"

"he's your kid." my wife says.

he sure is.

darth sardonic