Tuesday, May 22, 2007

hoh boy

i've been tagged (again (but don't feel bad dj kirby, you didn't know that sparx laid this one on me previously)), this time with eight things about me and eight other (unlucky) bloggers.

ummm, so let's see...

1.) i used to write poetry incessantly, sometimes 5-6 a day. being happy with my life brought this stage of my writing to a near-dead stop. rereading most of the 1500 or so poems i have, they are clearly therapy. the vast majority are repetitive, whiney, self-absorbed, and in a word, suck.

2.) sometimes i drastically want people to hang out with me, be around me, even if we are not really doing anything. others, i want to be left the fuck alone. often, i can't find any friends who want to hang with me when i want, and then people call me to come over and i have to make lame excuses when i want to be alone.

3.) i took wood shop class my senior year. i had so many free electives at my small school that my choices were basically shop or be a librarian's assistant two periods a day instead of one. although it didn't really seem like my style of class, i loved it.

4.) being tired and whatever else from having my wife gone and taking care of my kids full-time with few breaks or rests has caused my writing typo-free to decrease ten-fold.

5.) sometimes i want to drop all the video games systems we own in a pool of acid. i would be completely unable to deal with the meltdown that this action would create in no. 1. it would last months, maybe years, and i just don't have the energy for that kind of long-term battle. i do, nearly daily, battle the amount of time spent playing video games.

6.) on rare occasions, the only thing keeping me doing my fatherly duties, and doing them well, is the fear of what others will think if i don't. i'm ashamed to even admit this.

7.) currently, my back aches from round three of the back-piece tattoo. i will blog about this sometime soon.

8.) i once joined a talent show as a "stand-up comic". the only previous experience i had as a possible stand-up comic was telling stories and what-have-you at parties and other gatherings. i rocked the audience. so much so, that the talent show coordinator, who managed alot of things like that in the area, would call me when she had another shindig planned, so that i might break up the singing/dance numbers. i did this for a few years, emceeing events, doing stand-up. in this time, i learned that i didn't really have the wherewithall to work an audience, if they loved me, i was great. if they didn't like it (or i perceived that they didn't like it: i tell the story about a talent show that was done in conjunction with an outdoor bbq for the medical center that i worked in. the stage was set up at one end of a large grassy area, and the attendees were spread out picnic style all over. i started off with new material; no laughs. i tried some stuff i had used at other shows to no avail. sweaty, and in a panic (and i am sure the panic was clearly visible on my face), i went to the same material i had used a year earlier with basically this same crowd (and at which they laughed uproariously), and nothing. anxious and damn-near tears, i said, "thank you, you've been a wonderful audience. peace, love and brotherhood (the tag-line i ended every show with)." and rushed off stage, feeling i had tanked like no other comedian had ever tanked in the entire history of comicdom. the next day, one of my patients said, "hey, you're the comedian! oh my god! that was the funniest shit i have ever heard!" turns out, due to the size of the field, and the dispersity of the audience, i couldn't hear the laughter.), i would get anxious and basically tank and bail. after what would turn out to be my last show bombed, i decided i no longer really felt the need to continue with my comedian career.

except here, possibly.

last time, i got maybe four people. this time i am going to tag everyone in my pals list. but in my usual inimitable manner, i am not even going to bother to tell them. if they read this, and are interested ( i am absolutely sure that tyler durden will just be thrilled), and i haven't already tagged them recently, then they can, if they so choose, play along. if not, well, it is a free country.

till next time.

darth sardonic

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your confession about sometimes only being a decent dad because of what people will say? Been there, done that (as a mom, obviously). Example: We're in a terrible rush in the shopping center. It's past lunch time already. I still need to go to some shops with Baby Bel in tow. I'm tempted to just buy a packet of potato chips and share that with the little man. I'm figuring we both get something out of that: I don't loose time finding us something decent to eat and Baby Bel is happy enough eating a treat. Problem: we're going to visit grandma after, and small children are like oracles in reverse. So I find us a sandwich shop. But I promise you: had it not been for grandma (my dearest mommy... grrr), it would have been potato chips. Maybe even cheese flavored Doritos.


12:12 AM  
Blogger wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Yep, ditto on No.6. If it weren't for school, my husband, and assorted others, my kids would live on potato chips and never have to shower. And they would probably be very happy.

5:07 AM  
Blogger DJ Kirkby said...

Lovin' it! I've just been tagged again! Arrggghhh! A writers one this time... I dont even know 5 other writers to tag unless I clip Chopper and yourself... lol, yeah okay I know... you don't haf'ta shout...

12:20 PM  
Blogger Mama Bear said...

I love your honesty...I'm just play acting myself. Everyone knows that I don't know what the Hell I'm doing. "Fake it 'til you make it!" :)

1:06 PM  
Blogger Elsie Button said...

number 6 is brilliant and very honest. i love the way once one person admits something everyone else comes out of the woodwork. it's like so many other things too. i had a bit of a meltdown in baby yoga today.

1:49 PM  
Blogger Sparx said...

I'm pretending I haven't read this post as I don't want to play tag! How hypocritical is that???!!!

I will however admit to total sympathy - other people's opinions are what gets the spud dressed every day.

I maligned Dads in my post today... I was worried you'd see and hate me...

V impressed that you've done stand up. Who was it who said on their death-bed 'Dying is easy, comedy is hard'?

3:41 PM  
Blogger lady macleod said...

Wood shop, a tattoo, and show business - busy chap. Lose the shame, all parents feel that at some time no matter how wonderful the children are, no matter how wonderful the parent.

I like reading the lists, verrrry insightful Dr. Watson.

4:09 AM  

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