Sunday, May 20, 2007

no-shower sundays

when my practice marriage fell apart, and i moved into a two bedroom with my mate rudehead, and then shortly thereafter my wife started sharing my food, my room, and my bed, we instituted what we referred to as no-shower sundays.

essentially, we would all roll out of bed whenever our eyes finally opened enough to allow light to pass through them into the brain, usually mildly hungover, put on pajamas (under most normal circumstances, i sleep naked. yes, i'll wait until you are done chundering. alright? cool), and proceed to spend the entire day lazing about in our pj's and doing whatever thing we felt like, most times as long as it didn't involve leaving the apartment.

we'd play video games, or star wars monopoly, watch (and make fun of) porn (don't be fooled, we were all still getting turned on, but isn't porn just fucking funny?!?), eat whatever was handy (my wife looks at our cupboard full of ramen, asks if i care if she cooks up one for lunch, and i tell her, "don't ask me, it's rudehead's." she calls out to rudehead in the living room, "can i have your spicy beef?" without missing a beat, rudehead says, "goddamn, lady, i hardly even know you!"), and in general have some of the best days of our lives.

with my wife gone, and my energy level apparently permanently set at quagmire, i have reinstituted the no-shower sundays.

now, before you all send children's services to kick in my door, no, my kids aren't being neglected. and no, i usually clean the house like crazy on saturday, so we aren't hanging about in squalor. i've even taken a shower today and am dressed in jeans and a tshirt. but otherwise, the feel is the same.

i was stretched out on the couch with a book and my blankie (yes, the kids get it from me, what can i say?), and no. 2 walks up:

"ah wakka mo rray zzis."

i look up from my book, "wha'?!?"

"ah wakka mo rray zzis."

"why dontcha try finishing the ones in your mouth first? jesus."

no. 2 looks like a pitcher for an old-time baseball team, before tobacco became such a leprosy. i half expect him to turn and spit before hurling a slider my way.

the boys and i have played enough video games to reduce even einstein's brain to cold oatmeal. but fear not, o beloved (and comment-crazy, hahahahaha!) non-existant readers, they both recently asked me to read them a book as well.

"big brown. big brown bear. big brown bear, blue bull. big brown bear, blue bull, beautiful babboon."

ahhhh, an excuse to do nothing. and boy, is it shaping up to be a great day.

darth sardonic



Blogger lady macleod said...

Relaxation is an art. I think you have it down!

2:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm jealous.


5:29 AM  
Blogger The Good Woman said...

Hey, a family tradition is a family tradition. I think I might give this one a go.

10:06 AM  
Blogger Krissie said...

I'm guessing the porn-watching is out...

12:14 PM  
Blogger DJ Kirkby said...

Tag! You're it! So get your ass off the couch and over to my blog for more detail...

10:24 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home