never could take forever...

i am not kidding when i say how amazed i am at the amount of interest this mote of dust in the world wide web is drumming up.

thank you, one and all, for the comments, and especially for the votes of support in regards to my doubts about being a father. i sure hope you'll forgive me if i continue to refer to all of you as "non-existant readers". (it's a thing i have gotten used to doing that started off as a weird joke between me, myself, and i.) also, i hope you will forgive me if i still find myself unsure as to how fit a father i might actually be. i know, i know, we've all been there, etc etc, and i am not saying that i am not really fit to be a father, or that i am a lousy stay-home dad, but that doesn't change the fact that i still feel that way at times, and whining about it here seems to help immensely. you don't have to feel obligated to commiserate, though you are more than welcome to do so. heh heh.

i am beyond exhausted today. like, if i could compare the levels of sleep deprivation to the movie mad max beyond thunderdome; we'll say a little tired is our pal max as he dozes behind a herd of camels just before the plane knocks him loose and steals all his gear.

thunderdome would be not quite falling asleep while driving, but having trouble keeping your eyes open whilst sitting down.

then the gulag is wishing you could actually be in your bed, and imagining how nice the comforter feels.

well, then, o beloved non-existant readers, my droogs and only friends, i am in crack in the earth, wishing to christ i could ease my head back while kids run around screaming and talking and begging me to catch the wind and calling me captain walker and shit.

(and if you have never seen the movie, then my whole stupid analogy/inside joke/insanity has been for nought, and no doubt you are currently scratching your head and asking yourself, "what the fu...?" don't worry, i get that alot. from people who have known me for years. it is, in and of itself, an unfortunate side-affect of being just this tired. i can actually hear my wife inside my cranium saying, "funnier in your head?")

it is, after all, thursday. i have come to the conclusion that for me, personally, wednesday and thursday are usually worthless days. the after effects of an exciting (such as it is) weekend have worn off, and the anticipation of yet another exciting (compared to thursdays, for example) weekend hasn't quite begun yet.

i should be cleaning. oh, and maybe i will. as the song says, "if you don't expect too much from me, you might not be let down."

i desperately wanted to lay back down in my soft bed after shuttling nos. 1 and 2 onto the school bus this morning, skipping my workout and ignoring any other things i ought to do, but a quick glance at the calendar told me i had several things to accomplish. no sweat, i will shift them to tomorrow morning. another quick glance informed me that not only do they have monday off for memorial day, but tomorrow as well. what the blue fucking blazes!?! don't these acedemic fuckers know what they are doing to me?!? mother of god!

and so another cup of coffee was hastily consumed, and a quick shower was taken, and i dress myself and into the fray, o beloved non-existants.

i will post something of merit soon, i hope. as soon as the kids go to sleep at their normal time, and i get the house clean in short order, and lay down extra early, and the kids allow me to sleep the entire night unhindered...

ummm, maybe you ought not expect anything overly grandiose anytime soon, eh?

darth sardonic