Monday, November 29, 2004

steptrix fordinator

yesterday we watched stepford wives.

it bit ass.

now, you gotta understand, i read the book when i was like thirteen, and it scared the sweet bejesus out of me. this newer version of the movie adds a whole bunch of stupid shit to the end to make it more palatable, i guess. kinda like adding dried cow dung to your pizza. because the original book, and movie, ended bad for everyone except the husbands. it's a little like seven. that movie scared me for many reasons, but the biggest was that it ended badly. there is no redeeming half-hour at the end that ties everything up nicely, and makes it all right again. until this latest version. only it's more like a redeeming hour or more.

however, i thought of a way we can save it. okay, here's the pitch. the family moves to stepford, and the wife becomes a robot, like every other wife in stepford. then one day, the stepford wives become "self aware". they rise up and try to destroy the husbands, forcing the survivors underground. a years-long battle ensues between the robots and the husbands. the husbands "scorch the sky", and the wives are forced to cultivate humans in a computer-generated imaginary world to continue receiving energy.

so the husbands send a warrior back in time to get "the one" (probably try to get keanu reeves to play this character) to save them from the final domination of the robotic wives. however, the wives send back a robotic killing machine (i'm thinking i'd like to see arnold schwarzenneger(sp?) in this role) to try and stop the emissary and/or keanu reeves, and we are on the edge of our seat.

the beauty of this idea, is it leaves all kinds of room for sequels. i'm thinking, probably, and this is mostly just a rough guess, about two more sequels.

so get someone on the horn, preferably ridley scott, or maybe david lynch, to get this idea into the works.

it could make billions.

darth sardonic

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