Saturday, January 22, 2005

things that get me down...

i can't help it, i'm one of those people who thinks too much about shit, and i let the stuff i think of get me down.

and i'm kinda in a funk today anyways cause i'm tired and it's fucking foul outside and my children are whiney and i feel all "blah".

but we went out today to do a little shopping and we passed a flatbed truck hauling a mid-seventies datsun in a horrible state of disrepair on i-5.

now this datsun was three different colors, the most predominant being moss-green, and the windshields were cracked beyond visibility, and grass was growing up from the bumper and the tires were all flat.

when i see stuff like that, i get depressed, and here's why. no one will ever restore that car. nor will it probably ever be more than a moldering pile of scrap in one of the many salvage yards that dot the countryside. because it was probably on its way to a salvage yard when i saw it. and it probably should've just been smashed into scrap, and shipped off to be molded into something new, which would be good, and not depress me, because that's what happens with life, things die and get reconstituted into new living things. but this won't, cause the guy who bought it for his salvage yard will be hoping to get his money back so he will keep it around hoping someone will want parts off of it, but no one will because it has passed its prime, it has become null and void, it has become useless. so it will be lumped in with a pile of other useless and broken and past-their-prime cars that will just pile up and pile up and keep piling up.

so we're at a used cd/movie place, and i pass shelves of videos that no one will ever watch again, cause no one wants them. they'll just collect dust and no one will spend six bucks for them, so they'll be reduced to five, then four, on down till eventually they'll be on sale for 50 cents and still no one will want them. someone's blood, sweat, and tears poured out, someone's creative forces spilled forth, and it's not worth the magnetic tape it's printed on. eventually, they'll just be boxed up, and dumped out with the trash, or donated somewhere where they will still collect dust and wither away, and they will still be unwanted.

and it's not just cars and other useless items, it's people too. i have an acquaintance who is a poor-white-trash loser. and his wife is a pwt loser as well. and neither one of them will do anything to improve their state. because they choose not to. and they have a kid, who will most assuredly grow up to be just like them, and will have kids that will be just like them, ad infinitum with little chance of change or improvement. like human flotsam and jetsam to wash across the shore of humanity for eternity, multiplying and expanding, a whole vast eternal growing and swelling sea of throwaways that will clog and choke all life from the very universe.

and that fucking depresses me.

didn't i say i think too much about shit?


darth sardonic


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