Saturday, January 01, 2005

trimspa, baby!

alright, in what must surely be one of the most poorly-thought-out ad campaigns of the decade, if not the century, we have anna nicole smith (or as i like to call her, "al", short for al kowalic) selling the dubious diet plan (which is not just one diet pill, but apparently a series of diet pills--when the wife told me this as she looked at trimspa's website i immediately thought of the mom and her "diet pills" in requiem for a dream.) put out by trimspa.

when the campaign first began, as you surely recall, the commercial showed anna getting out of a limo, looking drunk and stoned and freshly-peroxided, but not particularly "trim". everyone is asking her how she did it? how'd you do it, anna? she says "trimspa" at the same time i think, "do what?" followed promptly by "oh, she must've just taken a big dump".

cause honestly, right, i mean, she had maybe lost two pounds when they filmed that first commercial.

now she is decidedly thinner. but hey, she acts like a boozed-out, drugged-up crack whore, and not just in the commercials, either. you have probably heard about the awards ceremony where she acted like varuca salt on prozac--"i want him to make me a beeeeooooootiful dressss."

so, the imagery of ellen byrsten(i may have spelled that wrong, my wife says to "google it", i say i don't care enough, so if i spelled it wrong, too fucking bad!) popping uppers is driven home by the fact that anna "al kowalic" nicole smith permanently acts like she's on a bender, which makes me feel like trimspa's series of pills probably has a list of side effects that runs like this:

may cause jitters, nerves, paranoia, stupid behavior at public events, the inability to see how strung-out you really look, anal leakage, high-pitched twelve-year-old voice, bad dye job, raised heart rate and/or blood pressure, and/or jail stay.

"trimspa, baby!"

darth sardonic

2 Comments:

Blogger darth sardonic said...

my wife informs me this one falls into the "funnier in my head category". maybe so, but hell, i'm not fucking george carlin or dennis miller here, so tough shit.

5:52 PM  
Blogger nicoshellee said...

i too find that commercial insanely funny! cannot wait until my hub sees it! as you can see i am back. had a huge brain fart and forgot my blog existed. duh.
anyway,.......... glad to see you are still blogging along..... i am promising to do better...... am watching battle for ozzfest with my daughter morgan. she loves it! lmao!

7:17 PM  

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