trimspa, baby!

alright, in what must surely be one of the most poorly-thought-out ad campaigns of the decade, if not the century, we have anna nicole smith (or as i like to call her, "al", short for al kowalic) selling the dubious diet plan (which is not just one diet pill, but apparently a series of diet pills--when the wife told me this as she looked at trimspa's website i immediately thought of the mom and her "diet pills" in requiem for a dream.) put out by trimspa.

when the campaign first began, as you surely recall, the commercial showed anna getting out of a limo, looking drunk and stoned and freshly-peroxided, but not particularly "trim". everyone is asking her how she did it? how'd you do it, anna? she says "trimspa" at the same time i think, "do what?" followed promptly by "oh, she must've just taken a big dump".

cause honestly, right, i mean, she had maybe lost two pounds when they filmed that first commercial.

now she is decidedly thinner. but hey, she acts like a boozed-out, drugged-up crack whore, and not just in the commercials, either. you have probably heard about the awards ceremony where she acted like varuca salt on prozac--"i want him to make me a beeeeooooootiful dressss."

so, the imagery of ellen byrsten(i may have spelled that wrong, my wife says to "google it", i say i don't care enough, so if i spelled it wrong, too fucking bad!) popping uppers is driven home by the fact that anna "al kowalic" nicole smith permanently acts like she's on a bender, which makes me feel like trimspa's series of pills probably has a list of side effects that runs like this:

may cause jitters, nerves, paranoia, stupid behavior at public events, the inability to see how strung-out you really look, anal leakage, high-pitched twelve-year-old voice, bad dye job, raised heart rate and/or blood pressure, and/or jail stay.

"trimspa, baby!"

darth sardonic