Thursday, March 03, 2005

songs that saved my ass...

i'm in a mood today, and it's reminding me of all the songs i loved listening to when i wished i was dead, because they originally matched my mood, and then would slowly drag me out of it and make me realize how fucking stupid anything that would make me wish i was dead really is.

joy division-new dawn fades--this is a great song for when you're pissy, follow it up with atmosphere and you're home free.

bauhaus-crowds--great line when peter murphy sings "you worthless bitch, you fickle shit" always makes me begin to feel better.

skinny puppy-smothered hope--turn all the lights in your room off, lay on the bed, stare at the dark ceiling, but don't linger too long, and follow it up with something a little more positive.

the smiths-unloveable--i used to relate to this song beyond my own ability to comprehend. i no longer feel unloveable, but still think the line "i know that you would like me... if only you would meet me" is bad ass.

the bolshoi-giants--different style of music from skinny puppy, but similar thing to smothered hope, lights off, bed, dark ceiling, follow up with something with a little more bounce.

depeche mode-but not tonight--"my eyes have been so red/i've been mistaken for dead/but not tonight" only happy song on all of "black celebration", and in my humble opinion, one of their all-time best.

ministry-so what--i'm all for beating your demons right out of your body. better to be bruised and sore than dead. play the live version from in case you didn't feel like showing up, bounce yourself off your bedroom walls for eleven minutes, and when it's all over, you'll be too tired to be upset.

the sisters of mercy-marian (version)--a nice mellow-yet-sad one to listen to while you catch your breath from so what.

the jesus and mary chain-darklands--this one appeals to my sick sense of humor. poppy up-beat tune coupled with dark lyrics about laying down by the river of disease and dying. great!

therapy?-screamager--ready to bounce off the walls again? i promise, it's only for two-and-a-half minutes this time.

ben folds five-brick--"she's a brick and i'm drowning slowly" this song came out around the same time my first marriage (my wife and i call it the "practice marriage") was going into the shitter.

blink 182-dammit--same time as brick. another leap-around-and-beat-the-hell-out-of-yourself song.

codiene-barely real--if i'm in the right mood, the chorus makes me cry, and we all know crying is a good outlet for me. "all i want to feel/that i'm barely real/i feel like string/i feel like nothing"

the cure-letters for elise--almost anything by the cure really. cept friday i'm in love.

system of a down-the metro--leave it to these crazy bastards to take a dark new wave anti-love song and turn it into a numetal anger-fest. and extra points for changing "i hate myself for loving you" to "fuck you for loving me" beat the hell out of yourself, kids. bruises and cuts, even torn ligaments and broken bones heal, death is forever.

einsturzende neubauten-alles--who the fuck knows what this song is about really? doesn't matter, a soft, simple melody, with bar stock being tossed around in the background and the occasional screech of a disc grinder. plus blixa's voice is very soothing. heaven is of honey runs a close second here. just a simple bassline, and again, blixa's relaxing voice.

i'm sure there's more, but i'm more or less out of the mood now, and must go shower and shave so that i can spend four hours lost in lakewood. the important thing here kids, is this: yes, we get down, life kicks our asses (or as skinny puppy put it, "all of life's mistakes kicking me in the face"), but when you start thinking maybe it would be better if a chunk of sputnik fell on you, and how much happier people would be if you were gone, then think how much it will piss them off if your still being a pain in their ass tomorrow. heh heh. then put on your best evil grin, listen to your favorite this-moment-in-time-sucks-but-i'm-gonna-kick-some-ass tunes in the stereo, and start planning how your going to make them all pay one day!

cause really, this is all one big sick joke in the long run. and it shouldn't always be being played on you.

darth sardonic


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