Tuesday, September 13, 2005


so the wife and i got our tats. my wife got hers between her shoulder blades along her spine, which turned out to be a highly painful spot. i had told her before we went that she was going to get this one and then start wanting many others. and it was sort of like when she had no. 1. she did natural child birth with no. 1, (no. 2 was born c-section, so "natural" was nowhere in sight), and while he was being born she informed me that she never wanted to do this again. while she was getting the tat, she was in quite a bit of pain, and i'm sure she was thinking, "well, this is it for me."

fast forward to a mere hour later, when she says, "you'll have to help me figure out how i can add to it."

and i got one on my calf. now, the calf is a very fleshy, and, i would've thought, low on the nerve endings kind of spot (my other tats are an armband, and a small one on my chest--both famous for being not-so-fun places to get work done), and boy, was i wrong. the calf hurt easily as much as the underarm. however, all very worth it, and i am currently doing drawings for the big tribal that is going on my back.

in other news, we were watching this show on hbo last night (on demand, probably) called "sex inspectors", and they had a statistic that cracked my wife and i up:

"men who have 3 or more orgasms a week are 50% less likely to die from heart disease than those who don't"

my wife points at me. i think, what about 3 or more orgasms a day?

then i say out loud, "i'm gonna live forever."

and a little while ago, i was having a conversation with a relative of my buddy s' at a bbq he was having, and this guy was a few years older than me and s. and he asked what i did, to which i replied, "i'm a stay-home dad"

he blinked twice, silent.

and i say, "and i drive pizzas in the evenings"

"oh, okay, so you're employed"

that line really bothered me, and whenever i get this kind of attitude to the statement "stay-home dad" i get really aggravated. so i'll just say this to any and everyone who will listen:

"stay-home dad" is not a euphemism for "unemployed" or "between jobs". i chose, and my wife chose along with me, to stay home from work to provide my children with the kind of one-on-one care and nurturing that this great big fucked up world requires. and it's a tougher job than jackhammering a slab of concrete inside the barrel of a mixer truck (i know, i've done it), it's harder than loading glu-lams onto a semi (glu-lams are the support beams of houses, made up of 2X4's glued and laminated together, and weighing in somewhere just shy of a metric ton), keeps me busier than the 8 am dirty dishes rush (when only myself and one other guy were working before the midday shift came on, and somewhere around 300 students were dropping their dishes off prior to leaving for class), more tiring than pulling twelve-hour security shifts during a practice "invasion", harder on the body than crawling into the 1-and-a-half foot crawlspace under a house and shoveling dirt, and more mentally and emotionally exhausting in five minutes than four hours of dealing with customers unsatisfied with their carhartt purchase, or their chile relleno, or the delivery time of their pizza.

anyone who thinks that being a stay-home parent is easy should take the darth sardonic challenge: take care of your kid(s), with little or no breaks for six months. yes, six months. any yahoo can watch a kid for a day (if you are unable to watch your kid for a day, do the world a favor and commit yourself!), most people could watch their kids for a week or two without too many ill effects, but to really get the feel of being terminally exhausted, unable to deal with the day-to-day whining and tantrums, being coated in piss, shit, or puke, loss of memory and ability to accomplish simple tasks, strung out to the max your frazzled nerves can withstand, you really have to donate six months of your life.

ok, so anyways, boy, glad i got that off my chest. now, if you'll excuse me, i need to go spend about 5 or 6 minutes keeping my heart health up. heh heh.

darth sardonic


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