O thou strong and stalwart...

I am reading my posts of late; O, such anger, such hate.

This is part of the process, O my beloveds, thou stalwart and true droogs and only friends.

But I haven't imploded; nor have I caved into a world of self-loathing, or guilt, rather, I have left the confines of my safe place and pushed out the boundaries of my comfort.

In short, I have learned to live again.

Like a stunted tree on the steppes of some wind-swept frozen tundra, I have scrabbled together a foothold.

I will be honest with you, my wholly Nonexistent Readers, I am in a tenuous place:  my two boys, perhaps the only things I will ever love more than myself, those two things I actually did completely right, they have moved 3,000 miles away. Most days, at best, are a struggle aided by the routine.

But I am no ordinary grumpy, morose motherfucker. And my kids are no ordinary rambunctious boys. We will overcome.

I am blessed, O thou stalwart and strong. Thou true and loyal. Those, who find yourselves reading, and are drawn, inexorably, back to view, to partake, to read yet again. I am blessed with you. I am blessed with the sorts of friends that happen in books and movies and of which many readers dream, but few actually have. I am blessed with a surprising knowledge of my place in this world, not grandiose, however, not belittled by any means either.

I am here. I do what I do.

Cool Hand Luke said it best, perhaps, when he said, "Sometimes nothing is a cool hand."

I will keep playing the cards I'm dealt and find that cool hand, O thou droogs and only friends.

Darth Sardonic