very briefly

i promise i will post again. i have been working and getting ready to move to a house off base, and that has consumed much of my time and energy. stick with me though, o thou beloved non-existent readers, and more will follow.

thoughts from the inner reaches of the dark corners of my so-called mind...

stephen king once said "everyone is the hero of their own story." (i'm paraphrasing of course.) what he meant that everyone thinks what they do is right and justified.

perhaps it's because i am a bucket of contradictions. maybe it's because i think too deeply about miniscule things. maybe it is because i have finally become aware of myself and all my foibles and yes, even all my strengths, and maybe it's because i never take myself too seriously, but i am a strange position of being keenly aware of all the stupid shit i do on a daily basis. but, being happy with myself for the most part, i find myself not feeling like i need to make any kind of excuses either.

it also puts me in the unique position to be aware of the duplicity of nearly everyone around me. don't worry, i very seldom will call anyone on it. unless i don't like them and they are attacking me or a friend of mine. in which case it will be the first thing i point out.

i posted a quote from mike ness (of social distortion) about punk rock music being dangerous back in the day recently as one of my status posts on facebook. one friend commented in a friendly-ribbing kinda way. another friend climbed onto her soapbox, and proceeded, in her own mind no doubt, to put us all in our place. i told the first friend, who was using my status as an opportunity to tease me (which i love) not to mind her, that she was a pretentious twat. my friend, yes. but still a pretentious twat.

i'm not gonna make excuses for her failings.

i didn't do it to her, i just explained to him to not worry about her. he's able to laugh at himself enough to not have taken her seriously in the first case.

the interceptor is back in the shop. it's been several months, and this is an easy and inexpensive fix, and if i had wanted to leave my car running 24/7 i wouldn't have had to fix it right away. but i worry about emissions and running out of gas, heh heh.

anyhow, my neighbor used this as an opportunity to ask me (rather roughly, i might add) when i was gonna come to my senses and ditch the dream of the interceptor for a reliable car.

this always puts me in a fighting mood, but i reigned it in for the sake of our very strong friendship, and simply said "never." with my trademark laconic smirk.

cause here's the thing that i know, but let him realize for himself: one of his vehicles, a newer suv, is in the shop about once every three to four months for what he ended up terming "routine maintenance." his car payment on this car alone is more every month than the most expensive thing i have had done on the interceptor. and his other car has a payment as well. his other car was in the shop for a week. it coincided with his wife being deployed, so he had two vehicles sitting in his driveway. if my wife was in the area, instead of in alabama with her car, this would have been a minor hiccup in my day.

he went on to say he just hates old cars. i replied that the 03 saturn we owned was in the shop easily as many times as the lincoln, and for longer stretches, and for double and triple what it has cost each time i have taken the lincoln in.

"yeah," he replied, "but you brought that car from the frozen north, and that was hard on it."

"nope, we got that car in seattle."

"oh."

another thing i didn't mention is the only newer cars we could afford to buy would be no more reliable, and spend more time in the shop, and cost considerably more to fix, than the interceptor. and i wouldn't like the car at all, and a little thing i know about myself since i am so keenly self-aware: if i don't like something i am forced to use, i have a tendency to be extra hard on it; to treat it with contempt and displeasure. which means it would be more likely to break down than normal.

like i said, my friend and neighbor came around to realizing on his own that for all his fillibustering and gasbagging, he couldn't really point fingers at me and my situation. and despite knowing all my friends flaws (or perhaps because i work so hard never to bring them to harsh light), i have so many people who will dive in to help me out on the rare occasion when i find my life turned topsy-turvy by a situation such as this.

darth sardonic

If you don't expect too much from me...

You might not be let down

sandrine gave me this: (and if you can't see it then i have fucked the whole thing up) a cool blog award. not sure how cool i am, but hey, i appreciate it.

signs you might wanna give up golfing and take up bowling: if you drive off the white tee markers, and when you are done, you are still on the tee box. if you drive off the tee box of one hole, and your ball lands on the fairway of an adjacent hole, through a screen of trees. if you spend longer than 30 seconds looking for your ball. if you break a window of our maintenance shop, which is about fifty feet off the fairway of 11 and about 120 yards away from the tee box. if you blame things such as mown grass, a fallen leaf, or the far-off noise of a chainsaw for you shitty golf game. if you spend more time drinking, bitching about the state of the golf course, throwing clubs, and kicking holes in the greens in frustration than you actually do golfing.

i saw fred's cousin today, twice. him's just a lil guy. four feet long. i took a pic on my phone, and then fought the urge to leap on him, clamp my hands around his mouth and then wrestle him for several minutes.

i have about three pages done on The Island of Misfit Toys. they are three wonderful pages, but still, only three. school and work and the kids have sapped my energy. but i have not given up.

i had even more witty nonsequitors to abuse you, o beloved non-existant readers, but they seem to have left me. i am sure they will come back when i cannot post, and then leave me again as i sit in front of my computer.

darth sardonic