And silicone enhancements by the breastful.

the stairs are beating the hell out of my knees. or, more accurately, lugging shit up and down the stairs is beating the hell out of my knees.

but the fact of the matter is, they are never gonna get better if i don't work them out, so off i jog to the local gymnasium to work on my "beach body".

(we interrupt this program for this special spot announcement: i am a bit flabby. i have been at least a bit flabby (sometimes alot flabby) for some time now. i haven't wanted to be at all flabby for at least a year or two. being able to frequent the beach alot is helping me to really kick the toning-up process into high gear. other than an improved outer shell, this particular model will remain yours truly, the same humble narrator that has regailed you with sarcastic and witty (but otherwise completely useless) comments and stories for many years now. and now, back to your regularly-scheduled program.)

for the first time in ever, and i mean evfuckinger, i have entered a gym on a military installation, and there were more women than men. granted, it was 9:30 (i got a late start, cut me some slack), but still.

and i realize, this is florida, but goddamn, they must hand out the implants at the checkout counter or something. "there's a two-for-one deal on the del monte peas, and if you buy another bottle of heinz catchup or similar heinz product, you get 10% off your next plastic surgery..."

now, don't get me wrong. i love breasts as much as the next bloke. maybe more. cause i am not picky about size, shape, color, or anything. i am not really even picky about enhanced, as long as they appear fairly natural (and for the record, the ones i looked at (and it was lots, i am almost ashamed to admit), within the confines of tight work-out tank tops, all appeared to be brilliantly done)(i have seen some porn where the boob jobs looked damn near painful, and i lamented the poor nba teams that would have to cancel their game for that evening due to lack of balls with which to play), but never have i seen that many in one place at one time.

and for whatever reason (most likely my conservative upbringing, and the idea that was fed to me, almost subliminally, that women don't really enjoy sex much, and certainly do not liked to be ogled or gawped at, and a gentleman would never do such a thing), i don't just blatantly look. i pretend to be studying myself very intently in the mirror, or checking out some piece of equipment i hope to try out just as soon as i am done with this piece i am occupying, all whilst enjoying the lovely bodies that surround me.

so it is quite likely, o my beloved non-existant readers (who are, it has just occured to me, almost entirely female--i might need to rethink posts like this in the future, heh heh), that my poor neck and eyes might be more sore tomorrow than my chest and arms and back.

but so far, i have to say, i am loving florida.

on a side note, i was a bit worried that the regular sun and heat and exposure to tight tanned flesh might weaken my sardonic capabilities, but as it turns out, my wife informed me the other night that i am even more saucy lately. phew! cause i was beginning to get worried.

darth sardonic

timing is everything...

the latest edition of "my kids want to do themselves in early on in life": today, at the store, when no. 2 was getting into his car seat, i noticed it seemed very loose. i went to tighten it, pulling on the seatbelt, and it came free in my hand. no. 2 had undone both the seatbelts holding the car seats into place. god knows how long they have been like that.

prior to this little incident specifically designed to make darth's blood boil and his heart rate skyrocket, no. 2 and i stopped into starjunk's for a coffee and some kinda organic psuedo-homemade refined sugar and starches. not but a few minutes after getting comfortable, several college-age minas came in and sat not far away. many more minas entered and spread themselves about the shop. everywhere i looked, minas pibas y chicas.

as an aside, you know how i mentioned i loved summer cause the minas appear in abundance showing off loverly skin? well, it is like that all the time around here. and when my wife is sure i am checking out bikini girls, i notice her drooling a bit over the surfers' pecs. yep, we are having ourselves a time, o my beloved non-existant readers.

darth sardonic