buying a copy of catcher in the rye to leave the house...

i'm not a conspiracy theorist. i don't believe 9/11 was engineered by big businesses worldwide. i doubt truman did deals with aliens. i have trouble imagining the freemasons constructed every aspect of the burgeoning government of our fledgling nation to secretly control this country from behind the scenes.

but this whole "bin laden's dead" thing seems just a little too trite and easy.

first of all, in my opinion, it doesn't make a shitlick of difference. there's probably another 50 guys in turbans and beards ready to take his place and engineer another attack against us. know why? cause we have been fucking about in their country and blowing up their families for no-shit nearly fucking ten years now. and not just their country, but iraq too. and thumbing our noses and tossing taunts at iran. and threatening to beat up pakistan if they didn't let us enter their country looking for bin laden so that we could fuck about in their country and blow up their families as well.

but all that aside, right? i mean, for nearly ten years we didn't have the foggiest where bin laden or most of his next-in-commands were, and actually thought they might've all hightailed it to pakistan (see above paragraph) and all of a sudden, with little warning whatsoever and seemingly overnight, we know exactly where he is, and have shot a smartbomb in there to blow him to bits, then collected a piece of him off a wall and checked it against his dna (what? when the fuck did we get bin laden's dna prior to killing him to have something to check against?) to make sure he was, in fact, dead.

seems a bit like a publicity stunt created by politicians who are really none too popular right now (let's face it, with anyone who doesn't have their head buried in their iphone, no one who considers themselves a politician in this country is very popular right now, regardless of affiliation) to try and boost some ratings.

i mean, why didn't they bring him somewhere to stand trial? like hussein.

but let's pretend for a moment that he really is dead. and that no one else is champing at the bit to take his place. can we bring the troops home then? from iraq, too? (i mean, what the fuck are we still doing there really? besides still dying off?) we should be able to. i mean, our purpose was to get bin laden, alive or dead, and we have, apparently, gotten him dead, so let's fuck off then. mission accomplished. job well done. pop the corks and light the cigars. ding dong the witch is dead.

somehow, i seriously doubt this will bring our soldiers home anytime soon.

thanks for playing along, o my beloved non-existent readers.

darth sardonic

well, it's been a bit...

i don't really have any sort of literary plan for today's post. but it has been a little while, so i am really trying to be as good as my word and update this for all you beloved non-existent readers (all three of you, which i think have taken to switching off, which means only one of you for this post and the next, and someone different for the next two!)

well, as you have no doubt heard, the military is getting paid. they stole the money from schools and god knows what other important places. i can guaranfuckingtee that none of the senators or congressmen offered to take a paycut to make sure the military members and their families would continue to receive the pittance we do to keep this country safe for the acquisition of more oil.

i am scared for next year's election. one of the favorite runner ups for the republican party sounds like a borderline nazi. i seriously doubt obama will even be picked as the democratic candidate, so annoyed is the general populace with how little he has actually done in his presidency. (all these people have conveniently forgotten that the only thing dubya had done in the first couple years of his presidency was take more vacations than any other president in the history of the united states of america!) i am not saying obama is amazing. he's just... there. he gets the honor of being the first black president.

but in the meantime, the country is polarized. it feels like it's borderline civil war again, except this time it's democrats against republicans. and no, the tea party is not the answer. those guys are considerably more right wing than the majority of the republicans, and i can only foresee book burnings and youth rallies in our future, followed by marching those of ethnicity onto cattle cars to roll off into the night.

i said this last election, and i am saying it again: we need a strong president that will focus on the shit going on at home!! someone who will repair the rift between conservative and liberal, and really work on fixing our economy, lowering the deficit, and restoring us to the united states of america, not the divided states of america. iraq is fine, they can manage. bin laden is no longer in afghanistan. let's forget those guys, let's let them run their own countries in the way that they see fit because, hey! let's be honest: we're in no position right now to be pointing fingers and offering advice in how to run a country.

in news on the home front, no. 1 is going to be repeating the third grade. it's not cause he outright failed, it's because he only barely passed. and it is because a) he still struggles to pay attention enough to grasp all the concepts he has had thrown at him (concepts that weren't thrown at me until the 6th grade, when i was fucking 12! everyone seems to think that feeding all these kids algebra and science and shit so young is good for them, but i am not convinced!) and b) his rebellious and headstrong nature makes him think he is always right in how he does things. the kid is smart. he's got the brains. he lacks maturity. and my wife and i need to revamp our thinking so that failing isn't considered such a horrible thing so much as a stepping stone for learning from mistakes and attacking the problem with a renewed vigor. i am pretty sure there is an einstein or ghandi or tony robbins quote that would be appropriate here, something along the lines of failure being part of success or something.

i am nearly done with classes, and maintain my 4.0 average, and will graduate with honors and then be forced to quit being lazy and find a job and work for my daily bread.

and there isn't much else to tell around here lately. life goes on, we keep smiling, and i just don't have as much clever shit to say as i used to.

darth sardonic

where'd the money go?

this is the second time this has happened that i can remember.

once before, during the clinton administration, and while i was active duty, it seemed the government had misallocated its funds, and was threatening to not pay the military. that lasted a couple days before they figured it all out and everything proceeded on as normal.

at the time, i did stand up comedy, and made a joke about how they were going to make sure the postal workers got paid because they were known to go off with semiautomatic weapons when stressed, but the government was forgetting we had jets, bombs, and tanks.

there is a similarity between then and now: both of these seeming lacks of money (i say seeming, because congress and the senate are still getting paid--or, not to put to fine a point on it, they are making sure they pay themselves!) occurred when there was a democratic president and a majority of republicans in the house.

one big difference this time around is we are still recovering from one of our worst economic slumps in history. nearly as bad as the great depression.

and they are talking, even more now than i remember then, about making mission-essential military members work without pay.

here's the thing: thing 1) if the military isn't getting paid, what is to keep them doing the job they signed up to do, namely protecting the country (to and including the politicians who repeatedly fuck them in the ass)? what is keeping young guys who haven't seen their families in months in trenches in afghanistan from just tossing down their guns, and leaving for home? thing 2) with the government in an obvious shambles of late, and the country not doing so hot right behind it, and in this age of separatism and right-or-wrong and never any gray area, what is stopping a group of military folks from doing just exactly what i joked about when clinton was president, and effectuating a military coup?

and most importantly, how on earth to rich, fat, corrupt politicians expect to continue getting away with the shit they have for however long, if the military isn't getting paid? that's like telling your personal bodyguard, "i'm sorry, dude, i spent all my extra money on cocaine and whores this week, but you've got a contract with me, so you need to keep people from harming me, all for no pay."

i am already learning korean, i should add mandarin and cantonese to the list.

darth sardonic

a political rant, kids!

i know i owe you other posts that i have previously alluded to, but i haven't done a nice political rant in quite some time. again, this is a political rant, and i know a few of you non-existent readers don't like those, so give this a miss. or read it and call me horrible names loudly at your computer screens, it's a free country.

here's the deal: i have been thinking alot lately about our country, and our governing body. i have come to the conclusion that absolutely no form of government actually works indefinitely. because governmental bodies are ideals, and, unfortunately, the world is populated with human beings.

what's that mean? well, let's look briefly through history, shall we? (we're gonna anyways, might as well play along.) there are some basic governmental ideas: monarchy (royals are the rich elite, whose problems have nothing to do with the common man who ends up actually making their country run. add to that the fact that they are generally encouraged to keep the bloodline pure, and eventually you have imbeciles who are married to their cousins trying to run a country full of people they cannot relate to in any way shape or form.), fascism (one guy runs the show, and eventually even his close friends get sick of his shit, and someone offs him, and steps into his place, ad inifinitum--and again, the man upon whose backbone the country runs has nothing in common with the guy running the puppet show.), communism (the only two countries left that claim to be communist are cuba (a dictatorship actually) and china (the most capitalist country in the known universe). all other communist countries gave up the ghost quite some time ago.), democracy (which i personally have been watching tank for the last few years.) and socialism (which might be the one governmental style that goes about its business quietly and actually offers everyone a chance at having a decent standard of living.)

we, the people of the united states of america, in order to form a more perfect union, wrote the declaration of independence and the constitution. we had amazing ideas. they were revolutionary for the time. a government by the people, for the people?!!? these guys are batshit crazy.

but look at us now. there is no more by the people for the people in our democracy today than there is in my morning coffee. that's because my vote counts for so little, depending upon the state in which i reside. but, even if my vote counted for alot. even if the us tallied up every vote of every person and counted it as one and the president was picked by a majority of people nationwide, what? still not working exactly as the founding fathers had hoped, and here's why. to run for president costs money (it shouldn't, but again, we are human beings, greedy, selfish, and bastards all around) and the only people getting money to campaign and get their names out there are the people being backed by their parties. and their parties get the money from special interest groups. big tobacco, big business, the oil companies. people with money who want to get away with murder and who will give you money to make sure they can continue doing what they have always done. which is fuck us in the ass, and line their pockets.

once the president gets into office, he/she doesn't do shit anymore. well, unless it serves some need for them and/or their special interest groups. what has obama done? not much. tried to push through a nationwide healthcare bill that was deemed "socialist" by the blind majority and therefore considered "bad." dropped some stimulus money in apparently the wrong places from where i am standing. he will go down in history as the first black president of the united states of america. unlike dubya, who i still feel fucked us soundly in the ass while drawing in coloring books as he sat on the toilet, obama will probably not be voted in for a second term.

and if you squint enough, if you let your vision go blurry enough, what's the difference between the democratic and republican parties? if you see past the rhetoric and he bullshit, and the stuff they say to make us like them, are they any different? no.

but our other option is the american nazi party. i believe they are calling themselves the tea party for short. these guys, oh jaysus. they want to go back to the original constitution. women, you should hate and despise this party as much as the minorities already do. you know why? because the original constitution treated you (along with the blacks and indirectly any other person of ethnicity) as 3/5's of a person. you will lose your vote (well, you probably won't cause they really want and need it to get anywhere, but you can see that the point i am making is there is absolutely no way to go back to the original constitution without traveling back to the late 1700's. as far as the original intent of the constitution goes, well, i think we are doing our damnedest to keep that alive as is. the only thing that might improve the situation is if we took money out of politics completely. not gonna happen.)

the original tea party was a protest against exorbitant taxes and tariffs place on us by great britain, and spawned a revolution. you know what countries that have a revolution against their own existing government end up with? communism or fascism.

sorry, ladies and gents, no answers here, really, just worries and loudly spouted words delineating what should already be obvious.

darth sardonic

wtf?!? seriously?!?

the following are copy/paste lines taken directly from an email (the third) i have just received from these jokers:

The national, cross-country tour titled, Tea Party Express II: Countdown to Judgment Day (www.TeaPartyExpress.org) is rolling into Washington State to host Tea Parties. ...will hold rallies that seek to educate, entertain, and encourage patriotic Americans who are concerned about the quasi-socialistic policies being pushed by the Obama/Pelosi/Reid administration.

The Tea Party Express II caravan features two 44-foot coaches along with a group of several support vehicles,...part of a national tour that will span 19 days, 38 cities, and cover more than 7,000 miles.

The Tea Party Express is advocating for less government spending, an end to the bailouts, lower taxes, opposition to government-run healthcare and opposition to the growth in the size and intrusiveness of government in general.

they also wouldn't mind it much if you n i cared to make a charitable donation to such a worthy cause. i wonder how much it costs to drive two specially-painted coaches all over hell and gone? and i wonder what exactly these tea party lunatics are actually proposing by way of lessening government intrusiveness? are they coming up with any alternative ideas to the government health plan? do they understand that the bailouts started with dubya, not obama? why wasn't anyone driving tour buses around when dubya's administration was proposing the "patriot act" that would basically invade anyone's privacy and arrest individuals based on books they checked out of the library, or searches they did on google? did they not figure that the government was being intrusive in that case? they don't seem to realize that staging a moving "patriotic" carnival that will eat up countless dollars in gas and maintenance, not to mention the initial cost of two 44-foot coaches and the support vehicles, conservative speakers and singers, etc etc etc. and blowing all this dough on an extravagant tour is easily the best way to tell us that government spending is out of control, taxes are way too high, and the government is growing and taking over our lives. i might also recommend we watch these motherfuckers cause this has all the makings of a well-scheduled recruitment for a bloody revolution.

i wonder if hitler and lenin had 44-foot coaches?

darth sardonic

on the verge

...of a break-through, or a break-down. not sure which.

when i began this dirty little fly-spec on the world wide web, its main purpose was two-fold: to excorcise the demons that too much free time combined with overexposure to whiney needy kids seemed to mass-produce in my cranial cavity, and to rant at length about the political arena.

but, since writing about my kids and observations is way more fun, and since dubya hasn't really done anything ridiculously stupid of late (well, anything new. he still does dumb shit all the time, hourly, no doubt, but nothing that is making the news anymore), i have been focusing on the day to day of yours truly and his own.

and so here we are, o my beloved non-existant readers, from all areas of the globe, all walks of life, those who knew me when, and those who have never really known me, per se, except what is presented here in the written word; on the cusp of something new in the field of yank politics.

and i have to say, it looks to be dull. dreary. dull, dreary, uninteresting, ho hum, and mundane.

i don't hate or love either of the candidates. i think they will both do an equally mediocre job of cleaning up the immense cesspool that dubya has left (though i am leaning more toward obama, as he seems, on paper at least, to have a plan).

we are days away from having a new president, and, to be perfectly honest, o my beloved non-existants, my droogs and only friends, i could really give a shit.

my predictions for the future: if mccain wins, we can count on at least another four years of iraq war (and a pitch will be made to add, at the very least, iran to the list of antagonists, though i am thinking the list will probably look more like: iraq, afghanistan, iran, pakistan, and any other "stans" that might seem bomb-worthy) whilst "cutting unnecessary spending" (and don't ask me how that works, i am not a politician and have no idea how one can continue a couple wars on foreign soil and simultaneously reduce surplus spending. maybe he means cut back on government grants to schools, and reducing the overages spent on dead and maimed veterans' benefits.)

beyond that, it promises to be four years of dithering, dodging the question, smoke and mirrors, and reminding everyone that he takes a "strong" stand on some vaguely familiar issues that remain to be clearly defined.

if obama wins, he will spend alot of time dodging bullets.

(begin side rant: what the motherfucking fuck?!!!? the us is on the verge of actually joining the 21st century, and rednecks with recently shaven heads and relatively new copies of mein kampf are fucking going to enmire us boldly in the late 19th century with great pride and seig hiel waves of the arms.

seriously?!!!? really?!!? i mean, fucking come the fucking fuck on!! if we are going to pick a misfit child-molester-looking maladjusted criminally insane icon as someone to emulate, can we at least pick one from our own fucking country?

wake the fuck up, you ignorant wasters. anyone who has made a bid for purifying the race, or ethnic cleansing, or anything of that nature was out of their damn gourd and ended poorly. according to wikipedia: "Adolf Hitler shot himself in the head with a pistol on April 30, 1945, shortly before the invading Soviet Army captured his bunker in Berlin." after allegedly taking cyanide. wanted to make sure i guess. "Benito Mussolini was captured by Italian ROYALISTS, who wanted to re-institute the Italian monarchy in power. He was shot, and his body was hung in the main square in a Northern Italian city, along with his mistress," it was rumored that an angry mob beat the living bejesus out of him first. according to another website, "Cambodians wept in disappointment after hearing that Pol Pot had died of heart failure Wednesday in a jungle hut on the Thai border, even as the last diehard members of his vanquished movement were moving toward surrendering him to an international tribunal. (sic)'He deserved to die. I am only sorry that he died so easily without being tried,'" it goes on to say he was being held prisoner at his own house by his own men, who wanted to turn him in to the international tribunal. stalin's "official cause of death was cerebral hemorrhage." followed by speculation that he actually drank way too much, woke up in a bed full of piss, unable to speak, and was neglected by doctors who were afraid of being arrested and sent to gulag until he died.

anyone know any icons these miscreants might find to be "suitable role models" who ended well? i would love to know.

so, to the poor white trash dipshits who insist on holding onto ideals better suited for the dark ages, do us all a favor: take hitler's way out.

end side rant.)

beyond that, he seems to have some good ideas, only about 10% of which congress will actually let him enact, and that begrudgingly.

cause let's face it, o my beloveds, politicians are all glad-handing, baby-kissing, backstabbing, lying, hypocritical sonsa bitches who really could care less about me, the voting john q. public.

i'll let ya know how things turn out.

darth sardonic